- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Friends & Family
I am proud to be an Ambassador for #UNITEtoFaceAddiction! I am going to Washington DC on 10.04.15 because it is time to release the shackles of stigma that are continuing to cripple or kill our loved ones, friends, families, and children. I am happy to expand on my personal story, but here is the short version.
I came by alcoholism and addiction naturally both from a nature and nurture perspective. About the time I hit my zenith of egomaniacal drive I fell in love (30 years ago), but I unceremoniously dumped that young lady. Of course, I soon after met another and inflicted myself on her. We had two beautiful children, whom I would have told you were my reason for living. They were not, alcohol was. This was the prelude to separation, divorce, failed business, legal consequences, and loss of standing; all of which were to follow.
After years of trying to prove either I did not have a problem, or working a dishonest program trying to falsify my sobriety by attending 12 step meetings but still using, something happened through the course of my fourth treatment (which lasted 9 months). I became teachable. I began to listen and follow good orderly direction. Life got better. Wonderful relationship with children, good job, and lots of sober support, etc. Then life got bad. My job went south and health issues popped up…but I stayed sober.
Then one day, thanks to Facebook, I received a friend request from that beautiful young lady from 30 years ago (still beautiful today) and a thousand miles away. She was sober and thought I might be. I made amends for my past. A month later I almost died in the hospital and when I woke up she was there.
We were shortly married and though health and economics like to test our limits, we are both still sober and just celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary. But more importantly she celebrated 8 years and I celebrated 15 years of long term recovery.
It is possible.
Thirty years ago I found a woman who I loved, but unceremoniously dumped when it no longer served me to be with her. I soon found someone else and together we had two beautiful children. At the time, I would have told you they were my reason for living. But they weren’t…and neither was my wife. Alcohol was.
Addiction is a national crisis that deserves national attention and solutions. As a society we can no longer push this issue away and pretend that it doesn’t exist…or perhaps believe it will not enter our lives. The truth is addiction can hit any family and any person at any time. Even those who have an abhorrent view of drugs and alcohol can become hooked on painkillers after a medical procedure. This epidemic does not discriminate.
The stigmas need to be eroded. When I was addicted, my life was a whirlwind…Divorce, failed businesses, legal consequences, and loss of social standing. All of this fueled by an addiction that I refused to believe existed. And once you have entered into that cycle it’s like looking up from the bottom of a well, cascading deeper into a hole with no idea of how to pull yourself up.
In recovery, I eventually became educated and humbled, schooled by mentors who could see past all of my barriers and allow me to regain my life.
My first love and I found one another after 30 years apart. We have faced illness, financial pressure, and even death, but this time I have faced them sober. Life is good. Experience has taught me how important it is to bring problems to the table in order to solve them. Our society must come together to change this conversation. Kids, spouses, and friends are DYING in every community, every day because of drugs and alcohol. Are we going to continue to turn our heads away because of some misplaced “greater-than-though” mentality or a simple lack of interest?
I am 15 years sober, working in a job I love, having fun with my kids, facing all that life has to offer beside my best friend.
Recovery is possible. I am living proof.