- Drugs
- Friends & Family
I am 30 years old and I’m a recovering IV heroin addict, with crack as my secondary drug of choice.
It all started when I was a teen-ager with pain pills and ecstasy. I wound up in group homes and rehabs as teen because of those habits, but it sadly got so much worse before it got better. By the time I was 19, I was a full-blown heroin addict in a four-year-long physically abusive relationship. My boyfriend overdosed in my arms and it was enough to get me clean for a year or so, but I didn’t work on anything or change people, places, or things. During the time I was clean, my demons were hiding, but not gone for good yet.
I met my husband, and the father of my child when I was age 20, and by 21 I was pregnant. I had a great pregnancy, we had a house, a new car, and he owned a deli. Life was good. After my son was born via C-section they sent me home with prescription pain pills. BOOM… I was back on heroin in a few short months, except that time I had a newborn. My husband, someone who had never previously done drugs in his life, had a habit, too.
Things went from bad to worse quickly. We lost the deli, the car, and the house. We moved in with his family, and they called child services on us. Child protective services gave me a choice to either leave my child with family and sign over temporary rights, or my child would go to foster care. Reluctantly, I signed my son over to my in-laws.
Even still things got worse. I couldn’t deal with losing my son. I ran from the guilt and shame and went deeper into my addiction. My husband (my son’s father) wound up in jail and on the front the newspaper for selling drugs to undercover cops. Everything that could go wrong did. I wound up living on the streets of Manhattan, New York, begging for food and money and getting high any time I could. Soon my husband was back at my side, getting high right beside me, after he was released from jail.
Finally, I had enough, after over a year without my son. Exhausted and lost from living on the streets, we decided to go to a methadone clinic and try this “sober” thing. We decided to give it just six months, and if that didn’t work I was gone for good.
That was 16 months ago… I now have 16 months sober! I have come far in this short time, but still have far to go as well. I now have visitation with my son, including sleepovers and day visits. I live in a shelter with my husband still. We are saving for an apartment and we should have it by the end of the year, and then we will FINALLY have custody back.
I still struggle, I still have bad days, but I can cope with them now, which is a relief. Things are getting better slowly. I still have guilt, but I’m working on it. We are all works in progress. Now, in my spare time I try and help people like me– we are a family. I didn’t get clean in a “traditional” way, but I will be off the methadone shortly. Fortunately, it worked for me! There is a different way that will work for each different person– you just have to find it. And I’m here to help ANYONE.
Just reach out, recovery is everywhere! #recoverywarrior
My mission now is to help others like me. Recovery is possible.
*Never*Alone*Again*