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Submitted by: Susanne Johnson
When I was three years old, my parents divorced because my father was abusive. I was left with no dad as he signed away his rights. When I was six, my mom remarried the man that I now call my stepdad who also adopted me a month after the wedding. In January of 1995, my sister was born and almost immediately I was sent to my aunt’s home because my parents didn’t want me anymore. That was the start of my long 12 year journey from foster home to foster home, from group home to group home. I spent a total of about two years all together in my mothers home.
When I was 14, I was placed in a foster home where the oldest boys and the father thought I was old enough to be passed back in forth between the four of them which resulted in my first pregnancy. At 14, I gave birth to a baby boy that I put up for adoption because I was in no shape or form to be a mom. After that, I was removed from that home and placed in another home which is when my drug addiction took its ugly hold on my life and thats when my self-mutilation habit formed and when I had my first overdose/suicide attempt. After that, I continued to use heroin and pain pills, continued to cut myself and continued to sleep with any man I could in order to feel loved up until I was 18 and got married and got pregnant again.
In May of 2010, I had my second baby boy, Elijah, who taught me what love really was. When he was eight months old, my mom took custody of him because I was arrested and spent two months in jail. After getting out of jail I thought for sure I could stay clean but I failed and started back into drugs all over again which ended my marriage. After my divorce I bounced from man to man, house to house and overdosed again. This time almost killed me, but still not enough to make me stop. I was then diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and was sent into a residential treatment center for a year. When I got out, I went right back to drugs and ended up marrying my drug dealer which made everything 100 times worse.
After being together for a year, I got pregnant with my youngest son Noah and for once in my life I wanted to do something right for my child but still wasn’t able to stop drugs. After almost three years of marriage, my husband and I got divorced. I took Noah and moved two states away to Illinois which is where I’m currently living. I now have full sole custody of Noah, I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me more than I could ever deserve and I’m only 80 days away from my one year of sobriety. My sobriety has also rewarded me with my fourth child but my first daughter. Miss Kaylee is due in June. So whatever you do, NEVER, EVER give up because you are so worth it and you deserve whatever happiness comes your way!