- Alcohol
- Faith
Submitted by: Chris Freeman
When I was younger I had “faith” in Jesus. I called myself a Christian. Even though I never lived like it or showed it or told people about Christ, I still called myself a Christian. I would always repent of my sins but never actually turned from them. I would always ask Jesus to “help me walk in His footsteps” but I don’t think I knew what I was really saying. I knew all of the things that Christ had done for me but it never made me feel different or “born again”. I had the same “faith” that Judas had.
Throughout my life I strayed further and further away from Jesus and His ways. No matter what I did– how bad, cynical, or evil, I would always find a justification for it and say “I can be a true Christian another day when I’m older.” But even in my darkest times of lust, drugs, alcohol, etc. I always felt “bad” about it afterward and knew it was wrong, but never took any initiative to change. Even after dating my wife for a while, my ways continued as far as alcohol and blatant disregard for The Lord.
There was a point in 2013 when I hit rock bottom and one night I kept telling my wife that “there is something missing in my life and I need to figure it out.” I cried and cried and pleaded with my wife and kept telling her that. That night I went to sleep and I kept saying the same thing over and over while I was trying to sleep. I would call it a sort of desperate cry for help and a need for saving in my life.
The very next morning, when I woke up I had a feeling of ecstasy. I had this feeling while I was doing my normal routine at the gym, while I showered, and even driving to work. I felt as if a weight was literally taken off of my shoulders. I felt a feeling that I had never felt before. I was looking at my life from a new pair of eyes and I didn’t know why, what, or how! I felt as if a blindfold was taken off of my eyes and I could see clearly. What I could see clearly that very moment was truth. I realized at that moment that my whole life I was searching desperately for something that was missing and I finally found it. It was in my darkest moment that I saw the light shine on me and it was beautiful.
The only thing that came to my mind, and the only thing I ever wanted or needed was Jesus. At that moment my whole life had a purpose and had a meaning. I knew that Christ saved me. He chose me to be saved and to join Him in His kingdom and all I had to do was to believe that He was my Savior. I finally knew what Jesus was talking about when He said “you have to be born again”. I was born again. The old had gone and the new me was here.
I now know God’s ultimate reason for saving me that day and it is to spread the Gospel of Christ no matter what the consequence. Every fiber of my being, every single part of my whole soul, heart, mind, body can feel the love of Christ and the Holy Spirit in me telling me to spread this good news. Some people think I’m crazy, but it doesn’t matter. I am not ashamed of my Savior and I’m not afraid to share His word. Jesus changed my life forever and saved me from an eternity in a very horrible, dark, lonely, painful, sorrowful place. Jesus gave me a reason to live. Jesus took a completely broken human and made me whole. Jesus showed me the truth and the ability to know the difference between truth and fallacy.
I would like to finish with what Paul said in his letter to Timothy.
And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has enabled me, because He counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry, although I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worst. However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all long-suffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever amen.
1 Timothy 12-17