- Alcohol
- Faith
- Friends & Family
Most people were surprised when I quit drinking. On the outside I was just a hot-tempered party girl looking for my next good time. On the inside I prided myself on my ability to keep up with the boys and carry on my family tradition. From my first drink, I was enamored with alcohol. It gave me the confidence and social skills I was lacking, and it eased my anxiety. For a long time, the only consequences I experienced were hangovers and regret, both of which I had a solution for—drink more! In my early twenties, I started drinking alone, a warning sign I’d always been aware of but was able to justify with, well, denial. My problem progressed when I experienced regular blackouts and secretly needed daytime maintenance. I began to verbally abuse my then boyfriend (now husband). I felt guilty, confused and exhausted after every incident that I couldn’t seem to recall.
One morning I got an out-of-town phone call from him saying, “If you have one more drink, we are over.” Apparently our long-distance conversation the night before had been ugly. I was embarrassed and scared but also relieved to have the ultimatum. It seemed to be the only solution for my misery. I finally had my reason to stop.
Then my real journey began!
When I was growing up, my alcoholic dad relapsed several times. My heart-broken, well-meaning, codependent mom would shake her head in bewilderment and say, “This must not be his rock bottom.” I always thought that was a fake line. It’s an illusion that an alcoholic has to suffer over and over again until he or she finally breaks. Most of us are conditioned by society to believe that our circumstances have to get really bad before we make changes in our lives. Why wait until we are desperate and drained? It’s really okay to not drink. Recovery isn’t a cakewalk, but it’s worth it. You don’t need labels, powerlessness or meetings. It doesn’t have to get any worse, and you can own your recovery, your way. Awareness is a key to annihilating the stigma that holds us back. Life is too precious not to be proud of who we are and what we’ve overcome. People in recovery are some of the strongest and bravest people on earth. Discrimination blows. My mission in life is to get rid of stigma one day at a time.