- Alcohol
- Faith
At the age of four, I liked feeling needed when my alcoholic dad asked if I he could borrow the nickels and dimes I had hidden under the living room rug. My generosity did not stop him from deserting his family. I swore never to mimic the model set by my parents. These self-threats didn’t work and I woke one day to find the generational curse had continued. Now my children witnessed my erratic codependent behavior as I tried to deal with my husband’s excessive drinking. After twenty-eight years of marriage, my husband left to “find” himself. Defeated and with nowhere else to go I turned to a recovery support group.
With time and commitment to the 12-step program, I began to transform my compulsive need to control into compassion and caring. My confidence grew and at the age of forty-eight, I attended college after work. On weekends, I took classes in pursuit of certification to become an addiction counselor. Eight years later, I received a college degree in business administration. This degree helped me succeed in the business world, but the fulfillment of my college education did not come from textbooks.
Along with the gift of patience, long nights at school had taught me that viewpoints of colleagues deserved a voice. I no longer needed to exercise my codependent character trait of being “right” all the time. While I did not always agree with my classmates, I grew to respect their opinions. I developed the skill of listening; I heard and valued my own voice of reason.
Today my life is happy, my future secure, and my spirit free because I know I have a Higher Power who will never abandon me. My prayer is that you will give yourself time to heal, grown, and be all that your Creator designed you to be.
January 2015 marked the launch of National Codependency Month. Thank you and God Bless.