I was always a troubled child. I began numbing myself by smoking pot when I was 13 years old. By the time I was 19, I had a baby and then met Xanax. I had found a utopia in the form of a pill– I would take one and it would give me an escape from reality. Nothing really mattered when I was on that drug.
Eventually, I was in a car wreck and broke almost every bone on the right side of my body. That was the very day that I meet prescription opiates. It became a very bad relationship that was toxic. It spun out of control until eventually I found the needle (heroin) one day.In my mind, I thought I had found my God!
After a three-page tap sheet IV, I finally landed in court where I found recovery for the very first time. At that point, I realized I didn’t have to steal, cheat, lie, or sell my body to old men. I found the real God in the process. Four years later, I was a drug court graduate facilitating supportive groups.
Then I became so comfortable helping other people that I even neglected my recovery. I relapsed!
My daughter found my needles and reported it to her school counselor. Social services and two state police officers showed up and also found my needles and removed my children. I realized then that I had to do something– so I gave my life back to God! I got clean and got my children back!
When I lost my children, I called my Pastor and he helped me pick up the pieces and get my relationship back with God, not allowing me to hang onto failure.
The thing that helped me personally was to draw closer to God and to give back! My advice is to always stay active in meetings and church.
Today, I’m the director of a program in Kentucky. We help people get a spiritual foundation and get their foot in the door to recovery. We provide meetings and help getting into detox or rehab.