- Alcohol
My story starts out like a lot of others. I had a few beers and I loved the hell out of it. I started drinking whenever and wherever I could and used anything I could get my hands on. I had finally found the cure for all my fears, insecurities, doubts and everything else that mentally and socially crippled me. I could feel how I never thought I would. It was fun for a while— actually a lot of fun. But the consequences started to catch up with me. I couldn’t keep a job, I lost my apartment and my car, had multiple ER visits, etc. I was absolutely miserable. I checked out AA but decided it wasn’t for me.
One day I woke up out of a blackout in the downtown psychiatric hospital, doing whatever I could to get out. I agreed to go to treatment; I went and didn’t really take anything there seriously. Needless to say, I relapsed shortly after leaving. This became a pattern of mine for a while. I was always willing to get the initial help but never willing to stick with the plan.
For me the easy part was getting back on my feet after a relapse; the hard part was sticking with a program. People were always giving me suggestions, and I always thought, “This time, it will be different.” I couldn’t figure out how people thought I was so smart and had so much potential yet I was always at the exact same place in my life. I ruined a lot of great opportunities. I finally got to the point that I almost ruined everything. But life decided to give me another chance.
Some friends were still willing to help and this time set up conditions that were non-negotiable. Something happened to me at this point, and I became absolutely sick of failing and making the people around me suffer. I was finally ready to do what others were suggesting. I moved across the country and into a sober living home.
I started attending meetings regularly, working a program, asking for help, and helping others. But the most important thing I’ve done is that I haven’t stopped doing those things. Accepting recovery as a continuous and always-changing process is the true gift I received. It took away my desire to use and gave me a true sense of happiness, a group of loyal friends, a wonderful woman, the ability to work through my struggles, a great relationship with my family and so much more. My last secret to staying sober is that I never gave up. You never know when you’re going to get this thing called sobriety and actually keep it. I used to view my past with so much regret, but I’m glad everything happened the way it did. I am the man I am today because of it.