- Drugs
It has been a long road, but I’ve had many learning experiences. I’ve gone from being a full blown addict to being in recovery for almost two years to a recent relapse, but I’m back on track. I really believe that I needed a wake-up call, because I was getting too comfortable and thinking I could do it on my own.
I started using young, and with every passing year it got worse. My addiction will always be with me, but I won’t let it take me. My drugs of choice were pain pills, and it didn’t matter what kind or how many. I stayed addicted for eight years, and, when I finally realized my use was out of control, I thought it was too late. I got in trouble with the law. I had never even had a speeding ticket, but all of a sudden was facing 15 felony charges because of the drugs. I wanted and needed them, and used just to feel normal.
When I finally got help, it was a miracle. I was so lost and had lost my faith. I was scared, but I had some amazing people help me through this and find my way back. It has been an awesome experience. I have learned that I don’t have control over everything. I can be comfortable with me. It was awesome to be able to get up in the morning and not have to go through withdrawal symptoms, until I found a pill. Little things like cooking and cleaning are a triumph for me.
I get to see my family grow and be a part of it. I truly believe if I would have continued, I wouldn’t be here. I would be in the ground. I’m not going to lie and say recovery is the easiest, but even the bad days are worth it. I see life and beauty around me everyday. I pray every morning and every night. I read my big book and journal. I go to meetings and am in groups on Facebook and believe that God saved me.
I will always be an addict. It will always be with me, because it’s a disease, but I won’t let it define me.