- Drugs
- Other Addictions
I had come to the point in my addiction to IV meth and heroin use that I was homeless and sleeping under a tree with nothing and no one to turn to.
My dad died in September 2015 of a heroin overdose during a relapse after being clean for three months. I was in jail at the time and having to go through that while locked up, I decided I never wanted to have to be locked away again in case something like that ever happened again.
I had to finally surrender to the solution and accept the help that was being offered to me time and time again. I had to get to that point of desperation where the pain of changing was easier and more welcoming than the pain of staying the same. I had to come to believe that my higher power, God, could and would do for me what I had failed to do so many times over so many years and relapses.
Surrender to win. Actually work the 12 steps and work with a sponsor. The only thing you have to change…. is everything.
Today I have FREEDOM! Freedom from the hell of self-loathing. Freedom to choose what kind of life I want. Freedom to be myself. Peace and freedom to allow others to be themselves. Freedom from active addiction. Freedom from the desperate need I had to continue killing myself.
Recovery doesn’t have to be a constant struggle every day. If you surrender to the solution and work on staying willing EVERY DAY to take suggestions and to make a better life for yourself, recovery is do-able. And if and when times do get rough and it feels like you can’t do it, remember, God can do for you what you can’t do for yourself. And God COULD and WOULD if only he is sought.