It was probably no surprise to anyone that I became an addict. My mother and father were both drug and alcohol abusers and we kids mostly got in the way. My father became saved and quit using and became the sole parent of three girls, although only two of us were his biological children. My mother abandoned us and continued to use and run the streets. At the age of five, I was sexually abused by my babysitter’s son, and at the age of six I was sexually abused by my grandmother’s husband, which continued until I was eight. I really never knew my mother until I was thirteen when I moved in with her. She was excited to get me drunk, and I remember the parties we had every weekend, dancing and drinking to country music.
At the age of thirteen I began to self-mutilate. After being sent back to my father’s and then returned to my mother’s, I found myself in a girl’s school for a year and a half. I went to a foster family and was sent to a group home when my foster mother caught me self-mutilating. At the group home I was hopeless and hated myself. I tried to commit suicide by taking to bottles of sleeping pills, however the staff knew that something was going on when I went to bed early, since I was usually up as late as was allowed. I was sent back to the girl’s school and was eventually released on my own at eighteen. I moved in with a friend who always knew where parties were. I began to drink constantly, always looking for a party, eventually I moved back to my mother’s and began using meth.
My boyfriend was a drug dealer so I quickly relied on meth to get through the day. I became pregnant and sobered up and felt really good about life, but as soon as my son was born I started using again. In 2007 my house was raided; I was not there but my son was taken into DFS custody and my boyfriend went to jail. Although I tried to stay sober I could not maintain it, and I began drinking very heavily and often. I ended up moving to a new town where I started selling meth. After nine months I was arrested and sent to jail.
I sat in jail for sixty days, and that was my new beginning. I decided I was going to stop the cycle: my mother used and her mother used, and so on up the line. I was going to do something different for my child. I started reading my Bible and going to church. Jesus was my life preserver. After sixty days I was released and ran into my boyfriend. He had also found Jesus and changed his life. We got custody of our son back; I completed my probation without a flaw, and he got off probation two years early because his probation officer said it was “futile.” We also have a daughter now. I am currently attending school for a Bachelor’s in psychology and criminal justice. Our lives have become the total opposite, and our sobriety has impacted our families’ lives. His mother and two sisters quit using meth, and my two sisters have quit as well. We are so blessed!