- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Friends & Family
- Mental Health
Submitted by: Abby Foster
You are cordially invited to pick up my memoir. A story from a woman in long-term recovery. Despite the continued epidemic of substance abuse, particularly in shame-based women, I share the escalation of the illness with rigorous honesty, including the gripping fear of admitting a problem, and all the consequences of addiction, and the experiences of humiliation by family, the law and society. The stigma continues to keep many in hiding.
The slow, painful path back into becoming a functioning member of society, seeking employment, and unlearning many messages took much time and many stumbles. The gifts and promises are shared along the way as well. Unlike other books on recovery, I take a good look at the low bottom of addiction, including the many rehabs and lack of family support.
My story goes right up until today, where I have twenty-five years of sobriety and completed my Masters degree in 2014.
Not everyone has a family and not everyone gets their family back. And yet, family comes first…finding spiritual family and mentors has been key to my recovery.
There have been many books that glamorize addiction, and dwell mostly on the insanity of addiction and not the slow baby steps necessary to maintain an alcohol and drug-free life. Freedom from the bondage of self takes time, patience and willingness. Although addiction is brought to the forefront so much more often today, I notice the focus on the intervention, the insanity and the confession in the spotlight.
I have seen standing ovations for thirty days of clean time (which is a miracle), and yet we never see the long-term walk through loss, betrayal, rejection and paralyzing fear those people experienced while not picking up a drink or drug. Long-term sobriety come with a vigilance, doing what you are told, especially when you don’t want to or understand why. Hard work, giving away what you have been freely given, growing, discovering purpose through blood, sweat and tears is shared.
I sit through meeting after meeting with the guys wowing the crowd with “drunkalogues”. How much, how clever, how funny and how hip they are. Women that have similar stories are unfortunately often considered bad mothers or ‘whores’. It is an incredible, brave and courageous woman who stands before a few hundred people who are desperate and looking for a way out, only to honestly share her experience, strength, and hope while looking another human being right in the eye with honesty, inner calm, and acknowledgement that it is God’s grace, one drop at a time, and others before her that make her who she is.
With much encouragement from my sponsor, I boarded a plane to L.A. 25 years ago (with a four-year-old in tow) to one of the only two treatment programs in the country that took the mothers AND the children who are affected by our illness. The long slow recovery that includes my daughter’s wisdom, thoughts and questions is painful but beautiful. My heart is filled with much gratitude.
I have connected with so many different lives that are broken, angry, and desperate for validation. There is not a paycheck in the world that can touch that reward, which is beyond anything I could have imagined. I know I have something to offer and share and have been encouraged by many that the that story needs to be shared…as my sponsor said many times, “these women need to hear what you have to say.”
In gratitude and service,
Christine C.