I recently had a conversation with a dear friend about my recovery. My friend has always been a constant companion throughout my adult life. We have shared great moments and have cheered each other on throughout life. We have consoled each other in times of need and tragedies. We have had rough times in our lives when we disagreed with each other but have always came through these periods with continued love and support making amends.
I owe him so much, but during my addiction, I gave him so little. For those times, I have made my amends. But to this day, he still feels that he has some ownership in the way my life progressed because of the times he did not step forward and get me help I needed at the time. He still worries about my future to this day. So this blog is for him and for all those friends that we, as addicts, in some way have damaged the bond of friendship. I hope it helps the healing process as we continue to share experiences, dreams, and victories.
I am responsible for my actions and behavior during our friendship. I was the one who chose alcohol and drugs to take over my life and damage the trust that held our friendship together. I am responsible for the path my life took over the course of our time together. I am responsible for my own healing and sobriety. I take full blame for the times I shut you out of my life when you were only trying to lend a helping hand.
I am sorry for the pain and hurt I may have caused in your life. I didn’t know how to accept your unconditional love as a friend. I owed you so much and gave so little. For that, I am truly sorry.
Now that I am in recovery, this is what I am asking of my friend. I am asking you to accept and love me with all my flaws. I am asking you to accept my forgiveness and be willing to step forward with me into new healthy beginnings. I am asking that you be frank and honest with me if you have questions and concerns about my life and its direction.
I am asking you to be yourself around me and do not try to hide things from me that you think may impact my judgements about my sobriety. I am hoping that you can give me credit for being stronger than I have ever been before. Most of all, I am asking for you to accept me as I am, just as I accept you as you are. But most importantly, I am asking you to be that best friend that I have needed in my life more than ever.
In active addiction, we never actually see the hurt that we cause in our family and friends. We are more self-involved in our own misery and hurt. Addicted people, like myself, are not bad people, we are only individuals that are suffering from a disease and may have made some very bad choices. We can get better and live productive lives with healthy relationships with treatment, skills, and our own willpower. It is a constant work in progress, but with help from friends and families, we can eventually get to a place where we can all heal.
If you would like to share your story with Heroes in Recovery, you can email me at Bo@heroesinrecovery.com! By sharing your story, you can inspire other to break the stigma associated with addiction and mental health issues. Please feel free to share my blog and comment! I love to hear from others!