Tools of Engagement
Lately I have been finding it difficult to engage. The wonderful things I have going on in my life, the passion of my work, social interactions and my service commitments have seemed to fizzle in their attractiveness. I feel like I have hit a road block. Inspiration is blanking and being grateful becomes difficult. I have started to feel burnt out. I have started to accrue injuries in my adventures, laying me up weekend after weekend. It’s become harder to write, and multiple deadlines can be draining. I have found myself becoming frustrated with the obstacles. This is not the first time in my life I have felt uninspired and blocked. The difference between now and then is that I currently have tools to help me get through this seemingly “lost” period in my life.
1. Permission for a time out
In American society, I often see the drive to work and be productive makes a “time-out” seem selfish and inconsiderate for the work environment. Sometimes we feel as though we need permission to take care of ourselves. This allowance for self-care ultimately has to come from your own heart. I consider myself to be a highly driven, motivated, passionate individual! I also believe that there is a balance to all things. The ebb and flow in life, yin and yang, whatever you may feel comfortable calling it—this energy is found in all walks of life. This balance, however erratic, is also found in extremes. A person who may appear optimistic at most times can have the lowest of lows. An individual who can be the most motivated person you have ever met can hit such periods of seemingly hopeless uninspired blocks. TIME-OUT! The universe is asking you to hold-up a second. Ok, now what?…
2. Loving the self
Opening up my toolbox, I start with loving the self. What things make Vanessa happy? Starting small, either with laying out in the sun for awhile, reading a non-fiction book, or even just a nap recharges the spirit. If that doesn’t get the mojo going, I kick it up a notch. Is it time for a massage? A new shirt? If money is a difficulty, what are free forms of FUN?! Dancing engages the spirit for me and I don’t have to spend a dime. However, since I’m injured, movement is not an option. I was reminded by a friend that I can use to paint, but I have not done so in over a year. An idea to consider!
3. One foot in front of the other
Engaging can sometimes seem impossible when life happens. Sometimes it happens quick! One day everything could be going well and then you find yourself in one calamity after another, as if the universe has a vendetta against you. Putting one foot in front of the other, and bringing myself back to breathing, has worked wonders in my personal life. I just focus on three breaths, then the next three, pausing to see if I can accomplish one thing today. Looking at the bigger picture can sometimes become overwhelming. Taking one piece of your day and accomplishing that one thing somehow proves to yourself that you have the strength to engage and move. It starts a domino effect that makes things happen!
4. Finding the will to move
Being stuck in a rut can start to overwhelm one’s perspective and outlook on life overall. Shadow takes over and it can become a dark place. This is where prayer and meditation can help immensely. Praying for simply the willingness to move can make miracles happen. I was stuck in the amends process and could not find the will to engage. I prayed for the willingness to move. It took a few days and talking to a few friends about it. I believe that my Higher Power speaks through everyone and everything and that meditating is listening for the answers to our prayers. After a conversation with one special individual, she suggested, “Just write one note…” Though it was difficult to pick up and move, I did the one. One turned into eleven notes that same evening! The will to move was found.
5. Inspiration
Digging a little deeper into the box, it’s time to find the spark. We have taken the time-out, we have loved the self, we have prayed for willingness, yet we are still idling. Ok V, what inspires you? What do you find beauty in? What excites you? Asking these questions in a kind, gentle and loving way to myself and then acting on them sometimes helps me discover the spark I was seeking. Joy and elation from the inspiring activity rekindles my passions and I mooove!
6. Acceptance
So, we’ve done all we can possibly do. Still can’t move? FOGHORN! Alright then: it is what it is. Let’s be ok with that. This can be the hardest tool to utilize, especially for motivated, driven people-pleaser individuals like myself. What do you mean, “accept that I can’t move”?! I have found that acceptance, though one of my most difficult tools to implement, creates the greatest sense of peace within my spirit. At the end of the day, an understanding must be found that everything is perfectly imperfect. It’s not copping-out unless you view it as such. You’ve done everything you can do, just let life flow the way it is supposed to until the timing is right. We can’t stay unengaged forever, and the will to move eventually appears—often when you least expect it!