- Alcohol
- Drugs
As an eight-year-old child, my idol was Muhammad Ali. I would “float like a butterfly and sting like a bee” as I shadow boxed and shuffled my feet just like him. I had fantasies of winning the world title by knockout! For whatever reason, my idol then became my older brother Robert. I was attracted to his athletic ability and involvement in sports. I found myself drawn to his lifestyle of hanging out with thugs and being in gangs. I wanted to be like him, despite never really seeing him. All I had were pictures. I finally saw him when I was 11 years old. He was in my mother’s room with his girlfriend and he had a needle in his left arm. There were colored balloons full of heroin all over the floor, and his girlfriend trying to keep him awake. Being a curious young man, I wanted to try heroin so that I could be just like my brother Robert.
I was further stunted by impregnating my girlfriend at the age of 15. This further altered my life since it made me a teenager trying to raise a kid. I was involved in gangs and preferred my friends over my girlfriend and child. I had many run-ins with the law due to gang related behaviors, which made me a criminal on a run trying to financially support my family. I ultimately got my wish to be in Youth Authority, a division of juvenile justice, like my brother Robert. I was sentenced for three years there and upon being released I began selling marijuana and soon graduated to selling heroin. Selling heroin led to the biggest mistake of my life, which was getting high on my own supply. The next 20 years consisted of selling heroin, having four felony convictions for sales of heroin and spending approximately 10 years in prison. It was a vicious cycle of selling, using, getting out of jail and going back in again.
In the year 2000, I hit rock bottom doing things I could not even imagine. I was broke and on the run due to sales of methamphetamine. I was hooked on heroin, alcohol, meth and gambling. I was hopeless and helpless and I contemplated committing suicide on several occasions. Finally, I was arrested. This was a relief because I was miserable and I had problems with rival gangs. I received a four year sentence for possession yet again. I went to prison and began selling and using in prison. I believe there was intervention from God because I was sent from Delano to a lower security level facility in Chino. I was under the impression that my drug sales would boom there. However, I was required to attend substance abuse classes, which turned my world upside down and opened my eyes to the reality that my life suffered from the disease of addiction.
One day, I got on my knees and talked with God. I asked him to help me. I was tired of being sick and tired, so I asked and received many blessings after responding well to the 12-step program. I like to call this day “my sweet surrender!” The date was February 24, 2003. After being introduced to recovery in prison, I went to rehab. After rehab, I went to school to get a drug and alcohol certification and landed a job in the recovery field.
Today, I am honored and privileged to share that I have been working in the field of recovery for almost 10 years. The gratification I get from seeing patients turn their lives around is amazing. If they can only reach out to the hand that wants to help them, they can do it. I have been blessed by God ten-fold simply by doing His will instead of mine. I love working with alcoholics and addicts. I feel this was God’s plan all along for me. I wish I could share all the blessings I have received but there are way too many. But I will share the following two stories.
1. After getting diagnosed with Hepatitis C, stage four cirrhosis and liver cancer, I was put on a liver transplant list. The cancer actually saved my life. I was on the list for approximately two years. I finally got a call that my God had the gift of a new liver and a new life for me at Loma Linda Hospital. After all that I did in my days as an addict, drug dealer, convict and womanizer, I was getting this blessing to continue doing God’s will. I often heard people say, “God is not done with you, Henry!” I guess they were right!
2. Recently, I was picked to win a beautiful award from Heroes in Recovery. I stayed in the beautiful hotel for the presentation too. When they called my name for the award, I got emotional because of the words that were shared by those who gave a reference letter. I had no idea how many people I have impacted working in the field of recovery or how much I had changed by following a simple program for complicated people.
I love this rediscovered life of mine. I would not change it for anything today. Thank you God for forgiving me and using me as your vessel to reach out to those who struggle with this deadly and powerful disease called addiction. I will continue to do my best, and you, GOD, will do the rest.
Grateful Alcoholic and Addict,
Henry