- Drugs
- Faith
Austin’s phrase to everyone for every situation was, “Everything happens for a reason.” Austin, YOU are the reason! Your gentle soul came to share your love with the world and to love every person, child and creature you came in contact with. You were the epitome of, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”
Austin’s struggles began in the summer of 2008, when he was asked if he had ever tried beezy (a word they used for heroin). The battle continued off and on, and last year on December 8th he left our home. One week later he came back, cold and tired of living in his car. He asked for a toothbrush and wanted my love and blessings, and he headed to Las Vegas. He handed me a roll of aluminum foil from his trunk and said he was going to get straight and wouldn’t need it anymore. We hugged tight and said teary “I love yous” and goodbyes. He went from Vegas to his brother’s in Salt Lake, where he participated in some life-changing workshops. His life was greatly affected, but the addiction was stronger. He eventually lost everything and found himself in jail. Three weeks later we heard the words we had waited five years to hear: “Okay Mom, I’m ready.”
His heart was ready, and our offer still stood. Immediately we took him to the rehab facility. He tried hard, he loved his brothers there and he was a light for all. For 89 days he was clean and clear. He was on top of his game, on top of his life and changing his life in the biggest way. Even after 89 days his battle was lost, and he said “yes” one last time, because one last time is all it takes.
It’s his mission and my wish that “we wake up the world.” If Austin can light the way for any one of us struggling in our own way, decide that today is the day.
I read every book and took every class on how to have a baby, how to breathe and what to expect. I didn’t get the class or the manual on how to give your baby back. Yesterday morning my son, who was in rehab to overcome his heroin addiction, was found unconscious in the bathroom along with a needle. He never came back.
Last night after a brief couple of hours of sleep I lay awake remembering every beautiful thing about my baby and cried happy tears at how giving and big his heart was. He came into this world to be an example of love. He was forever bringing strangers home and giving away everything he had to make someone else’s life better. Children and animals were drawn to him, and for reasons I can’t yet understand his mission here is complete. I kissed him goodbye and wished him safe passage and just asked that he watch over us. We are rejoicing in his freedom from his struggles through our own tears.
Because sweet Austin, “The greatest wings you will ever grow will be your own.” – Mom
Austin S.
November 11, 1991 – September 7, 2013