- Alcohol
- Drugs
In 2001 my brother was killed on his motorcycle, and I recall just getting home from a drinking and drugging binge. I was so tired that when I was told my mother was on the phone and she wanted to talk to me, I tried to put her off. She insisted on talking to me. That’s when I knew something was wrong, so I got up and took the call. She simply said, “Tommy was just killed!” Tommy and I were the closest of all my brothers, and we were the only ones out of the six of us who had the same dad and grew up together with our mom.
I took his death hard and stayed drunk the whole time it took to take care of all of his arrangements. I was even drunk at the funeral. One year and three days later I was burying my mother. I had three months of sobriety at this point in my life. But before I buried her, I was already drunk again and stayed that way for four more months, until I realized I needed to quit once and for all. It just was not working anymore, and I was all alone.
I realized I was all alone and had no one to fall back on for help, because my family had always been there for me. Something inside of me knew I needed to sober up once and for all. My kids were still young, and they needed a dad. They deserved a better life and a dad that was sober at least.
“The best way to handle fear is to simply enjoy the journey it will be taking you on.”