- Alcohol
I began my recovery journey in 1991 at the age of 26, when my alcoholism got out of hand. My mother told me to stop drinking or get out of her house. I had been bar-tending in New York City, hanging out with people that were up to no good, not going to school and dabbling in drugs. I got sober in 1991, but I did not continue that path. Life was really good at first. After six and a half years of sobriety I had the money, the car, the job and all the external things that define a successful life, but then I picked up a glass of champagne at a wedding and didn’t find recovery again for ten years. I’d get six months, and I’d relapse. I’d get four months, and I’d relapse. This continued for ten years. After ten years I was dying. I was vomiting blood, and I was extremely thin. I was a hotel manager, but I couldn’t get to work. I stood up the mayor of NYC, Mayor Bloomberg. I had every intention of showing up at work, but I told myself, “Dawn, just have one. You’ll be okay. You’ll make it to work.” I thought that, and then I don’t remember getting home. I woke up covered in blood, and I thought I had been stabbed. There was blood all over my face, and I realized that I was dying. The phone rang an hour or two later. I don’t usually pick up the phone, but it was a woman who I had sponsored back in the 90s. In the previous six months I had run into her several times, because I had never stopped going to support group meetings. My support group used to call me “One-Day-Back Dawn,” because I had relapsed that many times. The woman who called hadn’t drank for 12 years, but she was feeling restless, irritable and discontent. I thought it was because she was a single mom raising two kids on her own. She told me, “Dawn, its an illness. You don’t drink because you’re a bad person, you drink because you are very sick and you need help.” She helped me begin my recovery again over six and a half years ago. Recovery is something I still work at every day. I go to meetings, I sponsor people, I made my amends and I help other alcoholics in trouble. What would you share with someone who hasn’t yet decided to find recovery or who struggles with recovery? Don’t give up. No matter how many times you relapse, don’t give up. There are a lot of resources available to alcoholics and addicts. Addiction is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s like cancer, and a cancer victim isn’t ashamed of having cancer. If you reach out for help, you can have what I have. I get days, weeks and months of peace of mind. I’m like a kid; I’m amazed by everything. I help people find sobriety, and I get to watch them grow. I have a front row seat to a miracle. I wasn’t put on this earth to self-destruct. I want to be the person God created me to be, and I can only do that sober. I’m a work in progress.