- Drugs
- Faith
At the age of 12 my life was forever changed, when I was introduced to drugs and alcohol. I became a 70s hippie. Sex, drugs and rock-n-roll became my lifestyle for the next 35 years. At the age of 14 I left home and school. Nobody was going to control my life but me! At the age of 15 my criminal career began, and I found myself sitting in juvenile detention for 13 months. I was released at age 16, and within 2 months I fled the state and began life as a runaway doing what I had to do to survive. I returned home at 17 only to be arrested on a pile of new burglary and drug charges.
The courts tried me as an adult. At sentencing I was given the choice of 36 months in jail or joining the Army. I signed up for the Army. My friends threw me a going-away party the night before I left. I stood in my underwear the next day watching the Army barber cutting everybody’s hair off. My name was yelled out, and I was taken to an officer’s office. I was informed that the Army doesn’t accept my kind. LSD was found in my blood system from the night before. I was immediately transported back to the courts for prison sentencing, but I had done what the judge ordered and signed up for the Army. The courts had to release me.
At 18 I moved west with my soon-to-be wife and mother of my two kids. My son was born in 1979, and my daughter was born in 1982. I worked doing geophysical exploration for oil and natural resources, and we were constantly on the move. It was a very lucrative career, and I was coked up and tweaking, living the high life with plenty of money to support my addictions.
At 24 I needed to settle down, so my kids could go to school. I started my own construction companies and did extremely well financially. I was always able to party like a rock star. My company was clearing me $250,000 a year, but I was spiraling out of control. I was fixated on the getting and using and using to live. Around 1994 I learned the art of manufacturing meth, as I no longer could never have enough and buying what I needed wasn’t enough.
In the next 10 years I lost it all. In 1999 I could no longer run my company, and I sold it off to keep using. Between 1998 to 2007 I was in and out of seven treatment centers to keep my family happy. In 2004 I walked away from a 25-year marriage, because I loved meth more. My kids disowned me, and I was no longer allowed to see my grandkids. I was only accountable to myself and meth now.
In 2005 my home became a 1988 Chevy conversion van. All my worldly possessions could fit under the bed in the back.
I encouraged my employees to use meth. I either supplied them or made it financially available to them, but in 1996 I had a serious accident while at work because of an employee’s tweaking. My back required surgery, and I missed a year’s work because of this. This changed nothing about my using ways.
In 2002 I came home after a meth binge of days or weeks. After a fight with my wife about my absence, I collapsed on top of her with a meth-induced stroke. I spent the next three days in the hospital and had to learn how to write again. I still suffer from short-term memory loss.
I left the hospital and walked to a friend’s house to pick up some more meth. Nothing changed my using! My family, old friends and contractors for work held intervention after intervention. I ended up doing six inpatient treatment programs over the years, but I did it for them and not me. I hadn’t hit rock bottom yet.
February 6th, 2006 is the day I met God. I had been up for two weeks straight on meth. My van left the road and rolled multiple times, until it hit a tree. I had not buckled in. When I came to, my head was under the dash on passenger side. My feet were on the driver’s seat, the van had stopped on its wheels. I lay there on a -20 degree night. The van was full of snow and was not in view from the road at 1:00 in the morning. I was freezing to death with a broken back and internal bleeding.
I began to pray and say my goodbyes. I knew this was it, until out of nowhere I heard a voice. God spoke: “Turn on the heat.” The van was idling. I was able to reach up and find the fan switch. The heat hit me in the face! I was going to die warm. I began to pray some more, saying goodbyes and promising God, “You get me out of here, Lord, and I will change!” My cell phone had lit up, and I was able to push 911. There was a voice, and after some searching I was found.
The hospital treated me for an unstable fracture of T-12 vertebrae and bruised and bleeding organs. I was released a week later in a full body brace. Within days I was laying on a friends floor smoking meth. I had lied to God, and He still saved me. My conscience got the best of me, and soon I was waiting for an open bed at treatment. While waiting I was arrested on felony warrants. Because of the accident I had been charged with driving while under the influence of meth, causing great bodily harm and felony possession of meth.
Due to my health situation the judge released me to the custody of the treatment center. The treatment center released me to get my pain under control. I was homeless and in a full body brace for the next six months. I picked up two more felony meth possession charges and finally hit my rock bottom.
February 22nd, 2007 became my clean date. I admitted myself to treatment. I am now a 12-step advocate who found God by honestly working the steps. I am a spiritual mentor and sponsor to addicts in recovery. I pray and seek God’s will every day. In 2011 I was encouraged to become a member of an outreach ministry, and I am now allowed to go into jails and share the word of God through my story. I speak at treatment centers and schools. In 2012 and with God’s Grace I was released six years early from probation. I have also been a volunteer at a homeless shelter for families with children for some time now.
That’s my story. Thanks for letting me share!
Your loving brother in Christ,
Tom