- Drugs
Hi, my name is Brittney, and I am an addict in recovery since August 30, 2013.
Did you ever see the movie Pretty Woman? That was me, but there is no fairytale ending to my story.
Once upon a time not so long ago, my disease of addiction took me down the road of prostitution. My disease told me what I did was okay because I was a high-class call girl, and I made a lot of money. I became addicted to that lifestyle and what it got me. I loved living life in the fast lane. I was a true party girl, and I thrived on the attention I got from wealthy men and women. I partied with rock stars, traveled and lived in five-star resorts. I had the ways and means to do massive amounts of meth, my drug of choice.
I went to jail on several occasions. I drove a car off a cliff. It is a miracle I lived. I lost count of the number of times I have been raped. My family disowned me. I could go on and on, but you know how it goes. Many bad things happened to me as a direct result of my drug use, but those things never stopped me from using. In fact when those things happened, I used more and more to numb myself from the intense pain I felt.
One of the things I did to vent my anger and pain was write. I wrote a book about my experiences as an escort. When I was high and writing those stories, I didn’t know they would pave the way to where I am today.
About six months ago I got some bad stuff, but I am like a cat with nine lives. I got very sick, and I decided I had had enough. I was tired of chasing my addiction. I remember walking past a mirror and looking at my reflection. I was so sick. I did not even recognize myself. The drug had taken everything from me, including my health and my beauty.
As I detoxed off methamphetamine, I wrote. When I had about 20 days clean, I self-published my “sex” book. It did not go viral like I hoped it would, and another author suggested offering more books. I was writing in my journal about my disease of addiction and my recovery, and I decided to put that out there. I took a picture of myself at 21 days clean and published my diary on the Internet for the world to see. As far as I know, I am the only person writing about my recovery on a daily basis and publishing it almost as it is happening.
What happened next was truly a miracle. Since I had been so sick, I was not able to get out much, but because of my books, I was able to meet people in recovery from all around the world! I have support from many others like myself. I spend my time talking to folks from every walk of life and suffering from every addiction you can think of. Some of these people are still in active addiction while others have been in recovery longer than I have been alive. I go to meetings online. I am involved in a closed group on Facebook for people in recovery. The people in that group have saved my butt! I believe the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is truly without parallel.
I sit here today with almost six months clean. My recovery has been very challenging so far. I am really sick. They tell me I have severe brain damage from doing so much meth for so long. My man of 14 years left me. He does not want to stop using. He broke my heart. He replaced me with a new party girl who is a younger, prettier version of me. I am also financially challenged as I am too sick to work. It has been tough, but I was told, “Don’t use, no matter what!”
It has not been all bad. Since I cleaned up, all of my basic needs have been met. I was reunited with my three-year-old grandchild when I had 90 days clean. I am also enjoying closer contact with my higher power. I have a whole lot of hope and faith that I will recover physically and things will indeed get better.
I have written a total of four books now. The books help me stay clean, and they have helped many others as well. I plan to keep writing about my recovery as I stay clean one day at a time. I always wanted to write. It has been a dream of mine since I was young, but my disease made it difficult. Now that I am clean, anything is possible. Richard Gere never saved me, but I am on the right track now, and my dreams are coming true. I guess my story does end happily ever after all! Although this is not the end, this is just the beginning.