- Drugs
I lived as a functioning addict for over thirty years. Over time, I accepted my situation and did not even live in denial. I had many low points along my path—from juvenile detention to adult incarceration.
In the mid-1980s, I began a factory job following a prison work release program. I worked in that factory for 22 years until I lost my job after a drug test. I still remember when I received my last paycheck and I thought to myself, with tearful eyes, how will I feed my kids when this money is spent?
During my lowest point, I felt like all the walls were crumbling around me. My marriage was failing, and I felt like I never really knew who I was inside. My mother knew the power of the disease after she lost a granddaughter (my niece) to addiction. Addiction impacted everyone around me. Ultimately, my family came to my aid.
Before an addict asks for help, many addictions run their full course. The addict personality plays the blame game, (“It’s not my fault.”), followed by the flight or fight mode (“I will run away and hope the problem disappears.”) When I became ready for change, I realized these things, and I was reminded of my faith and thought about Jesus at the Last Supper. Because I was not working anymore, I had no excuse. I had time for recovery.
I joined a county run program and a year later I was cured.
…Just kidding.
Recovery was not that easy for me. It took a lot longer than just one simple visit to treatment. But rehab did help. After my first rehab, I walked away with a much better understanding of the disease and the tools I needed to battle addiction. I came away from my first treatment understanding that we are not all lost causes, but we are really brothers and sisters together, working to recapture our lives from the abyss of darkness.
Recovery is a place to become mentally healthy and spiritually stronger to void out the lifetime of drugs and alcohol and begin a new life. I decided that I wanted to be remembered for how I lived my life, not how I was slowly dying.
We are all in this together. We are the best and brightest minds of our generation. Yes, we have had an affliction—but recovery warrants respect. Wear it proudly.