- Alcohol
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I met Trish on February 1st, 2014. I will never forget that day. I am truly grateful for all the many things she has shared with me. I never attended a big book study at someone’s house until I met her. I got to be a part of a weekly get together she hosted. Having that opportunity continued to change my life and reminds me how important recovery is. Thank you, Trish, for showing me the way.
I am honored to introduce Trish H.
Sincerely,
Hillary B.
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I have been on my recovery journey since February 1, 1984. I was 29 years old when I decided to make this life decision.
Recovery has taught me how to live and helped me to gain self-esteem and confidence back in myself. I now have dependence on God. I endured many tragedies and losses in my past. I found myself spending time in jail and ending up in broken relationships. I was trying to be self-sufficient and ended up being selfish doing things my way which led me to a dead end.
I was at the lake with my boyfriend and we had been partying really hard and all of the sudden I got this feeling what I was doing was not right. So I went to my sister in law’s house (brother’s and sister-in-law) by driving under the influence and they were shocked when I showed up at their door. They were quite displeased with my appearance and demeanor. It was definitely late at night and there I was, showing up unannounced. That was the first time I was confronted about my actions and I could no longer deny the truth. From then on I was faced with my behavior and could not live with it. Something had to change. I was broken and hit my bottom.
I came to realize I was not a bad person. I was troubled from my past losses, which caused my negative behavior. I was trying to run from myself but it caught up with me. I became aware I was worthy of better things and I had become open to receive them.
My first struggles were staying away from drink, old playgrounds and playmates. Over time my struggles have changed. After I worked the 12 steps, I was willing to overcome struggles by trusting in a power outside of myself to resolve these problems not me. I was not responsible for the answers to all the problems. They were resolved by staying in the program’s steps. The steps are the answer and continue to be today.
Staying on the path is the struggle but I stay in the middle of it and with other recovering people to give back. Today I turn my struggles into opportunities for growth. Such as, I share my life with my husband; spend time with my family unselfishly, making amends as a result from years of my addiction.
I never believed it was possible to accomplish all these milestones. I celebrated 31 years of sobriety. I am the only person in my family to graduate from high school. One of my jobs in the early 90’s was youth and adult treatment. I worked in a travel position for AAA for 11 years. I pursued a massage therapist certification in community college. I am a practicing (LMBT) massage therapist and enjoy helping people stay healthy. I got married at 44 years old. I was 16 years into the program at this point (I was allowed to date after 16 years!).
Many things have peaked my interest on this journey. Art has been very special to me; I took the time to learn how to paint. I love long distance bike riding as well. In fact, currently I am looking for some new things to do which is a constant in my life. More will be revealed as I keep my dreams open. I want to see what else God has in store for me on this path of happy destiny.
Some particular things I have learned on this journey include:
- I am the problem. I am my only problem today.
- My sponsor was able to direct me toward the forgiveness of others, and myself, when I thought it was ridiculous.
- On a daily basis, I have someone I talk to about my life and my desires as well as choices.
- I have learned trust, especially trusting someone else’s experiences to direct my best interest.
- Even when I get the insight of others, ultimately they allow me to make my own choices– even after we have contemplated other suggestions.
- I then have to be okay with my own choices and growing through those decisions (that is where steps 6 and 7 come in).
I have learned some hard truths during this process. All I had to do was unlearn a lot of things.
I would suggest to someone at the beginning of this journey who may feel they could not do it: “If I can do it, anyone can do it.”
It is a lot of hard work and sacrifice. To top all that off it is pure joy to trudge the road of happy destiny. Better than any high I ever reached. Just being a totally whole human being. The peace is incredible. All I have to do on a daily basis is to get on my knees and ask the universe for the desires of my heart and quit fighting everything and everybody–which brings me to faith in my higher power and love for my fellow man.