- Alcohol
- Friends & Family
submitted by: Susanne Johnson
Start by describing the situation that changed your life or a loved one’s life.
Over 5 years ago, I met Jason, my now husband/life partner who was a closet alcoholic. Little did I know that him entering my life would help me find my life passion and that he would credit me with saving his life.
I had received my bachelor’s degree in psychology over a decade before this time and always knew deep inside that someday I wanted to help others. I had lived a life of childhood trauma, extensive family substance abuse and was a long term out-of-state runaway. I was able to get the help and therapy I needed as a young adult that allowed me to completely change my life and allowed me to flourish. Back when I was in my early teens if you would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I would say “holistic healer.” I only hope to aspire to truly embrace that in all of my encounters.
Based on your situation or story, was there a turning point that prompted the need for change or help?
As I said above, shortly into our relationship I discovered Jason was a closet alcoholic. Once it was suspected that there was a problem relationship for him with alcohol, I told him I would have zero tolerance for any drinking. However, I would continue to come home and he would seem intoxicated. I would confront and he would deny. So I ordered a breathalyzer to my work. The first day I came home with it in my trunk, he seemed intoxicated. He tested positive for alcohol. I told him that the relationship was over. The next day I got a call at work that he was in the ambulance for a suicide attempt. I went to the hospital and met with him and his family. We urged him to get help. He tried to be sober, yet two weeks later there was another suicide attempt. At this point, I knew he was a severe alcoholic and needed intensive help.
How did you or your HERO get help?
I jumped into action and researched what kind of residential help was available in our state to someone without health insurance. I was able to find a place an hour and a half up north that could take him. Thankfully, his family was able to pay privately. I knew that 30 days residential and coming home was not enough, so I also started working immediately for after care options for him and was able to work with our county to get into a 90 days step down halfway house. Every night I thanked God for another sober day for Jason. Every day he did the work needed to become a person in long term recovery.
Based on your experience, what lessons did you learn? Do you have any advice to give?
For me, the experience was life changing. Once I had Jason engaged into treatment I went to work with his family. A lovely, educated family who had no idea what alcoholism truly meant in a loved one. I brought them to Al-Anon meetings and to an intensive family program. I gave them reading material and I helped them learn how to be the best support system for him. They had so many ah-ha moments and this was huge for them—which, in turn, was huge for Jason to have this time at treatment be different. It was his third residential stay.
And I learned that I felt so good helping Jason and his family and that I had a calling. I now own a private intervention practice and get to help families and their loved ones find recovery. It is truly a blessing.
If you or your loved one is in recovery, describe what life is like today.
Jason has been sober since the first day he entered that treatment center. I was able to watch him become an even better man than I thought possible. About four years into his recovery we pulled out some of those letters he wrote me while away. In one of them, he wrote that somehow, some way, he hoped that we could resume our relationship once he was sober for a while and that together we would find a normal life.
Right before we read the letters he was working on one of his many jigsaw puzzles and I was watching TV. I think it was a Friday night. We had found that normal alright and we had a heartfelt good laugh. His family no longer hears the phone ring late in the evening and thinks oh no, is Jason in jail? Dead? How grateful we all are that he is here in this world.
Is there anything else you’d like to share?
There is never ever a lost cause. There is always hope. Believe it can happen.