Lighting the Fire for Healing that Lasts
I suppose we’d all like to say that we don’t judge the newcomer, but sometimes we do. We look at them and wonder how it will all play out. We wonder if they’re “ready” or if they’ve really “hit bottom” this time. This speculation in no way infers any desire to see someone fail. In fact, it is more commonly our desire to see people succeed that causes us to ponder their level of commitment in any program or practice. We would like to believe that everyone has the same opportunities for recovery and the same chances for overcoming any challenge in life. I do in fact believe that this is absolutely true. Spiritual healing is a birthright. Anyone, yes anyone, CAN do it, but is there any way to predict who will do it for the long haul? It’s a fairly controversial subject because the short answer to the question is no. Recovery is so very personal and in truth there is just no way to find out what is in another person’s heart or mind from moment to moment. However, if I was going to be so bold as to choose just one characteristic that stood out most often when trying to discern the spiritual health of another, it would be their willingness to share the hope that they have found.
No matter what you’re recovering from, and no matter what steps or programs you choose to employ for healing, there is one specific practice that most often determines your chances for sustaining long term health and spiritual wellness. Working with others is what we usually call it in Twelve Step Fellowships, but the idea of sharing your experience, strength and hope is found in nearly every spiritual path. In the yogic community we call it Karma Yoga, in the Christian community we call it a mission or an outreach, and in more secular circles we usually call it volunteering. We would of course love to pat ourselves on the back a little bit and think that these are entirely selfless acts, but one of the most beautiful things about service is that both parties are healed in some way. When we get really honest we must admit that there is almost always a benefit, perhaps even greater benefit, granted to the person who is doing the giving.
There is always the argument that some people, like Mother Theresa or some other obviously benevolent soul, had no agenda other than helping the less fortunate. At first blush I would tend to agree, but when you take the time to delve into the more personal writings and thoughts of these great humanitarians they themselves almost always admit that they were greatly blessed in the process. I don’t have a problem with that pay off. As a matter of fact I LOVE that payoff. One of my favorite quotes ever says it all:
“One of the most beautiful compensations in life is that no person can help another without helping themselves.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Another argument that you might come across gets down to the specifics of what people consider working with others. In many recovery communities we define that as sponsorship, or service commitments, and these are incredibly valuable activities for everyone involved. There is something magical that happens when two people who have suffered in similar ways come together with healing as their intention. The simple act of shifting our focus to another person and getting out of our own heads for a while brings great clarity and peace. When we speak words of hope to another we affirm what we have learned and strengthen our own beliefs. It is an almost sacred relationship and process to assist another person on the road to recovery. Likewise service commitments of all kinds get us involved in a variety of activities that build confidence and strengthen relationships and skills as we offer our time and energy to certain duties that serve the fellowship in some way.
While I am a huge advocate for the Twelve Step philosophy of working with others, I do believe that there are many ways to give and receive the benefits of service. First you will have to decide what interests you and what you are willing to give. This is very important because I do believe the most important aspect of this practice is a willing heart. You may volunteer your time to certain charities or find yourself drawn to certain organizations that are working to raise awareness for a cause that is meaningful to you in some way. You might find yourself deeply involved with a religious or spiritual movement that can benefit from your time and talents. At some points in life you may even find that much of the giving you do simply relates to raising children or caring for aging parents. All of these things can fall into two categories, they can be burdens, creating resentments that make yourself a victim, or they can become blessings, creating opportunities for healing and growth.
This is a practice that lasts a lifetime. This is something anyone and everyone can do, but the question remains, will you do it for the long haul? It will take some time, it will take some energy, it might even take some courage at first, but it does work and it is worth it. Find the willingness to go out and make a difference. Share the hope that you have found freely and believe in everyone you meet. With each newcomer, with every single person that comes to you for help, you have a chance to lead with your own life as the example. We light the fire for recovery one person at a time. We ask them to keep coming back and we pass the torch when we show them how we were healed. That’s service.
You can help BREAK THE STIGMA by sharing your story directly with Heroes in Recovery and letting them know that Marta sent you. OR you can contact me through email [marta@wellnessmeetings.com] with your information and I can help you through the process.