- Alcohol
- Faith
- Friends & Family
I was born in New York on July 25, 1984, to two loving parents that provided me with all the tools needed to live a happy and full life. As the oldest of four daughters, I quickly placed the expectation of perfection on myself. I came from a very structured environment where rules were non-negotiable, and I excelled academically and focused on running from an early age. I was strongly influenced by my father who was a marathon runner. School and running were my life for many years.
Alcohol did not have a role in my life when I was growing up or even in my teenage years. Alcohol was present in my family but only for festivities and on joyous occasions. I never took an interest in alcohol, but I did become fascinated with the idea of being “free,” free from restrictions and free to live a life where I played by my own rules.
When I was 20, my family and I relocated to North Carolina where I continued my college education. I was new to the area and extremely homesick. I wanted to find friends and did so fairly quickly. I began drinking at this point and became aware that alcohol provided me with much more than a buzz. It provided me with the freedom I yearned for. My fearful nature was quickly replaced with a carefree spirit and what I thought was zest for life. Binge drinking in college seemed to be the norm, and at the time it never dawned on me that my drinking had begun to take on a life of its own.
At the age of 25, I began my first adult job in corporate America. I had arrived. I was living on my own for the first time and playing by my own rules. My desire to escape from reality was no longer a desire but a necessity. My drinking reached new heights at this point as happy hours turned into liquid lunches. I began drinking in the mornings to stop dry heaving and shaking. I drank around the clock for the last two years of my drinking. I lived the same vicious cycle day in and day out. I could no longer eat, and the zest I had for life quickly turned into a desire for my life to end. I am not sure exactly what pushed me to the point of asking for help, but I truly believe it was God doing for me what I could not do for myself. I reached out to my family, and they immediately took charge and helped me find the appropriate resources to start me on a path of living a life in recovery. Today I look at pictures of myself from that point in my life, and I can barely believe I made it out of that life alive. God saw fit for me to see another day, and for that I am forever grateful. I began running again after a long hiatus and have been able to give back to the recovery community in ways I never thought possible. I have not found it necessary to take a drink since January 23, 2013, and for me that is a miracle. The life I live today far exceeds any expectations I set for myself.
Today I truly understand the meaning of being free.