Break On Through to the Other Side
I have moments in my life when huge doses of reality suddenly overwhelm me. These are my breakthroughs. By living a different way today, awareness kicks in and the clouded thinking has dissipated.
Some of the questions I pondered were “How did I allow myself to do this for so long?” “Why didn’t I know what I was doing to myself or my family?” “How could I allow people to treat me that way?” “Why did I continue to use substances that took away my hopes and dreams and caused me to be broke, living paycheck to paycheck?” “Why did I let myself go through the loss of numerous jobs, missing important events in my family and friend’s lives, and near death experiences?” Then realizing it was because at the time what I was doing was more important (selfishness). Past that initial train of thought, it was in my breakthrough that I came to terms with the fact “substances controlled me”!
Addictive thinking is backwards. So coming out of the fog is confusing, especially at first. After processing these profound questions I no longer had to be there. I never want to ask myself those questions again and I make sure to remind myself on a 24 hour basis why it is going to be the best decision for me to stay sober another day. I continue to follow this journey of self-discovery. Open myself up to new ways of handling situations and dealing with the emotions that come up along the way.
The recovery process came into my mindset and healing began. So the thing that has worked for me is sticking to this no matter what. I welcome the random intuitive thoughts as they are rays of hope that I can be aware of my behaviors and recognize if I need to change them to yield positive results.
Having breakthroughs helps me to be more vested in finding the solutions to problems. It has felt a little heavy when some of these ah-ha situations have happened but they always create a genuine finding.
I am a Lead Advocate for Heroes in Recovery. I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog. I blog with 4 other amazing people please check out their blogs, too. Heroes in Recovery is a movement designed to break the stigma associated with addiction and mental health. We do many things to support this mission including asking people to share their recovery stories with us. We also host various events around the country including our Heroes in Recovery 6k run/walk series. These focus on working with communities to raise awareness and break the stigma and motivating others to get involved.
You can visit Heroes in Recovery or reach out to me on Facebook and I can personally help you get started.