Cleaning Out the Cobwebs
I am normally a pretty organized person. My house is regularly cleaned, and I keep up with bills groceries and the other ongoing projects a house requires. Personally, I take care of myself by staying fit and engaged in life with both work and play. Recently, I was feeling like things were getting too far ahead of me. It was time to take a look at why I was feeling that way.
A heavy spring cleaning was called for. I needed to clean out the cobwebs both in my home and in my head. Cobwebs, not necessarily the literal kind, can exist in my physical space and mental space and often share a connection. The physical ones are a reflection of what is going on in my head. At my house, it means a stack of paper collecting on my desk asking to be sorted through, magazines on the coffee table that were read long ago, unused food in the fridge because I haven’t taken the time to cook and unplanted plants that I bought a week ago. All these things left undone tell me I am preoccupied mentally with something else, although I may not have identified what it is yet. When I leave long-term things undone, it means I have uncompleted projects, unmade vacation plans, retirement planning, etc. I consider this to be a message that I am not ready to make a definitive long-term decision until I identify what I am preoccupied with. Having this unsettled feeling is okay as long as I am striving to understand the change that is trying to happen. Cleaning out and understanding the mental blocks of today will help my physical surroundings fall into place.
Fortunately, this is happening for all the right reasons. After working on my recovery as a codependent parent of an addict for a number of years, much has changed in my life and continues to do so. Whether at the beginning of my recovery or where I am now, it is a constant process of cleaning out the cobwebs. I have to continually look at my physical, spiritual, emotional, financial and social well-being. Being aware of my feelings and working my program helps me to understand the message I am being sent and to honor what I am to learn from it. What am I learning now? It is not that I am so much overwhelmed as I am in a place of great change. I love everything that I am part of, but a shift in how I am doing things needs to take place. I need to be honest and rebalance my life. I need to be honest now by making some decisions that allow growth to continue and bring the needed changes into my life. Making those decisions will keep me from being overwhelmed. That may mean eliminating something from my life or letting someone else handle a part of life that is necessary but not as fulfilling for me. Rebalancing means getting back to the things that nurture me physically, emotionally and spiritually, whether it means returning to lifelong joys or adding something yet untried. Change happens over and over but each time it is different. This time, the change feels bigger and more challenging for me. I willingly work it to shed those cobwebs that can grab hold and stick to me.
If you are working on your recovery, you will feel it when change is happening. You will need to clean out the cobwebs to embrace the change. It is how we move forward. Be mindful that your physical space is a reflection of your mental space. It lets you know if something needs attention.