Monopoly
Our second truth: “Your love cannot inspire the abuser to change.” I refuse to believe this! After all, haven’t we always heard, “love conquers all”??? Evidently not when you are dealing with pathological narcissists and sociopaths. Who would have thought? Where did they come from? Do we really know who we are living with? Especially these days!
In some cases you don’t have a choice. For me, it started with my father. How was I going to change that! He was someone I was supposed to trust and depend on! However, I did have a choice in who I married. How did I end up marrying my father? And I say that figuratively, of course! I swore by the person I fell in love with. Other people criticized him, but they didn’t really know him. If he was aggressive towards me, it was just because he had a bad day, or had been drinking. He wouldn’t do it again. He was sorry, he felt bad, he even cried sometimes. But that never made him stop. How about you? What were your excuses? For my beloved, he had to be arrested! Guess who bailed him out? ME!
I loved him, and I knew he had a good heart, if I could just convince him of his goodness. If only I could let everyone else see his kind and gentle soul, they would understand. Excuse me! Are you listening! Do you remember? I’m the professional enabler. Not only will I support your dysfunction, I will justify it and elevate it to a whole new level, and top it with a bright shiny red bow! No, you can’t change or inspire the abuser! You can support them, but that’s not the goal. We can only change ourselves, with love and care, and a great deal of prayer!