Recovery is a Lifestyle
There are two things that an addict doesn’t like: Change, and when everything always stays the same. In order to stay a little bit longer on this wonderful planet, we’ve got to change something in our life: everything! It sounds scary, doesn’t it? I must admit that I was scared to death as I was facing this decision in my life. The more I understood the concept, the less scary, and less hard, it was and the easier the transition became.
The fear we are facing is often not really the fact that we have to give up alcoholic beverages, addictive prescription medication, and/or street drugs. Most have done that several times in their lives and are well aware of the DT’s, withdrawals and the pain, but know also that they will survive that part. It is more the fear of the unknown lifestyle that has to follow this ultimate decision.
Many of the 20 million people out there that need help to fight their addiction already have the innermost wish to give it up and become free of substances. It may be the financial aspects, the health, relationships or other consequences that already brought us to the conclusion that life could be easier without the addiction. But there is that spot of an unknown future that comes along with it which might hold somebody back. Am I losing all my friends? What do I do on a Saturday night, when all my friends go out to party? How do people look at me if I don’t drink? What will my co-workers say or think? How do I spend my days? Can I ever go into a restaurant again? Will I be always hanging out with ‘boring’ people? Will I ever in my life laugh again? Am I going to have ever a social life again? How will it affect my life with my spouse? I don’t want to lose my marriage.
Those questions and others can be so overwhelming that it seems easier to keep life as it is and to keep on drugging and drinking…at least for today. Tomorrow we can think again about quitting. But the answers are neither scary nor unknown. Actually, the answers totally base on the fact on how much effort and engagement you are willing to invest into your new life. Instead of seeing it as a scary change, you can see it as the chance for a new beginning and it lose all its threat. The outcome begins in your head and in your thoughts. The more positive you see this as your chance, the more joy you can get out of it. If you decide to see it as a burden for lifetime, you may end up miserable for a very long time.
If I am a diabetic I can make my day miserable by sitting in a candy store all day and stare at my favorite sweets, or I can go outside for a fun event with friends and forget that I have an issue with sugar. I can continue to eat sugary stuff and get sick all the time, or take my medication and live a little mindful and be healthy and happy. I see treating my disease of addiction about the same. Avoiding certain things makes me better not worse. If I believe that the part of ‘avoiding’ is the worst nightmare of my entire life, of course I can’t get happy. I need to accept it and keep on going.
The first weeks and months I had to work on myself a lot, get to accept my past, learn about my disease and learn a lot of coping skills for stress moments or trigger times. Once I felt, that I reached a temporary saturation there, I could move forward and design my life new. I could find for myself activities that make fun, connect with people that live the way I see myself in the future, explore the world, expand my horizon and move towards a lifestyle that protects my sobriety and give me the fun and excitement I want to have. Each decision I did was based on the question ‘Does that bring me anywhere closer to the person I want to be?’ A question I learned during my residential treatment and I still consider one of my most valuable lessons. (Thank you Beth Freimuth, some things we never forget!)
Spending my days like that automatically brought a change in my entire lifestyle. I went to bed early, was up with the singing birds, went sailing, explored many other activities like white water rafting or shooting, fishing and hunting and I became an engaged member of my community. Helping others to reach sobriety became a natural part of my daily life and service work became a fulfilling part of my routine instead of a chore. My increased physical health let me get more active, I went on bicycle rides or to a gym, giving me even more energy. My mental health let me say good bye to anxiety and panic attacks and now I have open boundaries on where I want to go during the day. The world is not such a scary place anymore. My complete lifestyle has changed to ‘recovery’ and it was an awesome transition for the positive. It is a growing process and can’t be fought to happen overnight to blast into happiness, but the happiness is coming in the moment you start loving this new life truly from your innermost self and become addicted to this life as you were to drugs some time ago. You can make your new life as adventurous as you like to have it.
Changing playgrounds and playmates was the first thing to do and the rest came slowly but surely. My life was rewarded by changing my lifestyle. I got the greatest gift of all times from it: I got my ability to laugh from the heart and to live happy, joyous and free. Some people just don’t belong in our lives if they hold us back.
And how does it work for the families of addicts? Many in early recovery might think that it’s time for them to change if they finally see what pain they did to their families during times of active addiction. It is true up to a point. The process of recovery needs engagement from all family members to be successful. The support of the family is very important for the outcome and therefore often some members in the family have to change certain habits as well in order to give recovery a chance. Addiction is a family disease, often spread over generations. To stop this heritage process, the family has to work on their ability to bond and find resilience. Most important here is that family members understand how critical it is, that in early recovery the addict should not be confronted at home with triggers leading him in to relapse such as alcohol or prescription drugs that are kept open. Also it can be vital that the family shows support and motivation by attending family groups or support meetings. Recovery demands a tribute from all family and lots of changes, but then the results can be excellent.
I would like to hear what you changed in your life in recovery. Please list or tell me some examples under this post. I would be very grateful for it. Let us show together newcomers what need to change and what can be changed to reach more fun in recovery. What is part of your new lifestyle?
If you want to share your story of recovery, please just hit the share button on the top right. We would love to hear it and publish it here on this page for you.
Be stylish in your new life. You decide how the fashion looks like. Be a Recovery Star and design your life in sobriety. It can be as pretty as you want it to be!
Susanne Johnson