- Alcohol
- Faith
I was asked to write a few words regarding the above mentioned topic. My first thoughts were rather bleak and cynical. Disclaimer: to be bleak and cynical is in my nature. I thought about the countless times that I’ve had to move due to financial stresses, roommate relapses, newcomer craziness and, of course, unmanageability. I thought about the countless jobs I had and lost. Most of these were not due to any of my actions, except one, but were due to businesses closing for the summer or simply going out of business. I remembered living on unemployment benefits while going to cosmetology school. After graduating, I didn’t even have the desire to practice my trade. I’d spent countless hours with newcomers who didn’t get it or didn’t give a sh**. Either way, the results were the same. They went back to their old playmates and playgrounds, and I sat acutely unamused by their antics and my life. Let me back up a little. My sobriety date is May 5th of 2009. I got here not particularly relishing the idea of never drinking again. I had accepted my fate as being a hopeless case, and that was that! However, being who I am, I still had a plan. Those of you who are familiar with an alcoholic with a plan are either grinning in ridiculous merriment remembering your own early days in recovery or frowning in a mildly frustrated boredom. I was facing anywhere from 18 months to three years of prison time and I’d checked into rehab to avoid my consequences. Of course, I was scared but I didn’t have a whole lot of options outside of leaving the country. Through simply going to meetings and making a few friends, I stayed sober and got a couple months of recovery. The point is that, at 45 days sober, I was arrested on a failure to appear charge by a deputy on a bicycle! I was apparently recognized from a mug shot. After spending six days in jail, I was released upon request by the own recognizance clerk. This meant I’d be given a new court date and had to give my promise to appear in court on said date. A man who did volunteer work for the treatment center I went to had years of experience in dealing with judges and the court system so he accompanied me and spoke on my behalf. After spending hours in court talking with attorneys and other court appointees, I was sentenced to complete six months of sober living and return to court to update my progress and get my final sentence. When I returned to court on my own months later, the judge refused to see me, and I was sent home. I continued to go to meetings, kept my commitments and continued to build the friendships I’d made. From day one, my obsession to drink had vanished, and I kept up the work I needed to do to preserve the recovery I had been gifted. By the grace of my Higher Power, I’ve never had the urge to drink to this day. Granted, I’ve thought of drinking and have even made plans to buy a bottle when I had a good case of the “f**k its.” But little miracles always presented themselves on those days, and I was just aware enough to see them as guidance and love from God. I walked to meetings and work for two years until I was able to reinstate my license. Then I had to have the interlock device (breathalyzer) installed in my car for the next two years before any restriction could be lifted. During this time, I gave rides to newcomers and friends. I have a freedom today that I haven’t felt since I was a kid. I can drive without looking in the rear view mirror! That’s a crazy feeling for this drunk driver! Someone with as many DUI charges as I have should not be on the road, let alone be free from a looming jail sentence that had been a certainty only four years ago. Moreover, a couple months ago I was asked by the local police department to speak to a group of high school students on the dangers and consequences of drunk driving! What a gift! I couldn’t have dreamt of the life I have today! Thank you to my 12-step programs and to God! Caroline D. Palm Desert, CA USA