- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Other Addictions
Submitted by: Susanne Johnson
In 1999 I started working in the field of treatment for substance use disorders. I was in recovery myself and living in California. My dad was very ill and dying of bladder cancer, living in Arizona, where I got sober ten years prior to this day. At this time I was a health insurance broker in California, but as an only child I chose to go back to Arizona to be close to my dad in his struggle. In need for an income I looked online and interviewed for a job in outreach for a treatment facility. My father passed away on my first day of work.
Thank God I had a 12-step program, had a good sponsor, a therapist and people in my life to help me through these hard days. Ten years of sobriety and having everything in place that I needed, helped me to go through this time.
I live in Arizona today and it feels as if my dad is still with me every day, as if he never left.
I got sober in 1998, from being a poly-substance-user and recovering from a love and sex addiction. I thought I was treated for alcohol addiction, as I went finally into treatment, but I found out that I was primary treated for sexual addiction disorder. My chemical dependency was not only the alcohol. My first drug of choice was actual LSD, which I used since I was 14 years of age. During 14 years of using until I got into recovery at age 28, I went through consistent negative consequences in my life. I was in the gifted program my entire schooling career after being tested with a genius IQ at age six. Nevertheless my drug abuse lead to the first significant consequence, as I had to drop out of high school at age 15. I did not get kicked out, but my parents encouraged me to leave school because my LSD abuse was so out of control. This was my first bottom. My life wasn’t exactly perfect. Actually my entire time of using was nothing but a bottom. I passed out at a party and got raped at age 19, and in my 20’s I had several monogamous relationships with abusive men.
The night before I finally got sober, I took the dynamics that I had with men and relationships to the world and picked a fight with a total stranger. It ended with being kicked by boots in the head and I woke up with a massive concussion. I was living with my mom at the time. I went home and told her what had happened and she called my therapist. My therapist did an intervention on me on behalf of my family, urging me to enter a treatment program immediately or face consequences. The consequences would my family would not participate in or support my life any longer. I heard what they had to say, believed that it was true, and came to believe that I needed help. I entered residential treatment for the first time in my life and have never picked up a drink or a drug since.
Prior to this final episode in my addiction and into my recovery, my parents had tried multiple other ways to help me out of my problems. I visited outpatient programs and had several therapists. For a while I actually to treatment for my eating disorder. I was suffering from anorexia and bulimia, but after I left that treatment, I began acting out sexually. I was replacing one addiction with another.
Everything changed when I went home after the residential facility. I had to sign a behavioral contract at my discharge, which included going to 90 meetings in 90 days, getting a sponsor, getting a therapist, not engaging in any kind of intimate or sexual relationship. I took this contract seriously and that’s what I did. I did exactly what they asked me to do and I’m still sober today.
I don’t know when it happened, but I see now that I was really seeking structure at this time. When it was given to me, it was a relief and I enjoyed having it in my life. Part of my contract was that if I didn’t follow that behavioral contract, my parents would have me pay back all expenses for this treatment to them, which was close to $30K. I needed this.
Our local 12-step club had an aftercare group, which was open to anyone who came through treatment. I went through this group and found likeminded people that were at the same stage of recovery that I was. My family did not have the financial ability to get me into any further outpatient services besides having a therapist. But I found a good, solid support through my 12-step-network. We held each other accountable, we got out and did fun things together. It was a good experience.
For a good amount of time I was teaching fitness classes during my time of using. Doing hours of step aerobic, Zumba and all kinds of activities all day long. My joints suffered over the years and today I have to be more moderate in my choice of exercise. I was a bartender for many years before my sobriety and it was part of my contract that I won’t go back down that road in my sobriety. So I went back to school and got my bachelors degree in Television Journalism with a minor in Political Science. Throughout college I worked for our local television station in the morning and worked for a radio station on the weekends. The TV station hired me full time after I graduated and I migrated towards the advertising department.
I was 28 years of age and I was committed. I was working my recovery and planning my future. I had roommates during college and set strict boundaries, such as not deeming it acceptable to have alcohol or drugs in our home.
I have never been married, but I had some long-term relationships in my recovery. I feel that I’m now finally in a loving and healthy relationship. I have learned to have appropriate boundaries and to really enjoy loving another human beings. I had to learn what was going on with me internally and identify how to have a relationship with myself first, before I could have any kind of relationship with others. I couldn’t relate to others for the longest time, because I couldn’t relate to me.
Today I’m the director of marketing and outreach for an extended care facility in Arizona. We specialize treating young men for substance use disorders and sexual addiction in an up-to-a-year program. I love my job and meeting so many great people during extensive travel across the country. I love to go to concerts.
I love to spend time with my boyfriend going to movies, concerts, and we love to go hiking. We also love to travel. We just came back from a trip to Costa Rica. When I am home I practice yoga on a regular basis.