- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Friends & Family
On September 2, 1989, I married Stephen, the love of my life. I picked that day because it was my parent’s anniversary. They had been married 34 years. Perhaps it was my good luck charm day?
I traveled for my job so to be gone three to four days at a time was normal. I unexpectedly got pregnant in the first few months of our marriage. Six and a half months into the pregnancy our baby girl died. Stephen left me home alone for two days after I had to deliver her…I didn’t see it then.
I got pregnant again with our son, Chuckie. I stopped work immediately only to be slapped in the face with a wakeup call: my husband is an alcoholic and an addict. Stephen would come home at three or four in the morning to shower and go to work. After Chuckie was born, I made the decision my, or our, son would not live this life. With a one week old baby, I threw Stephen out.
Steven lasted eight weeks before he reached out for help and went for treatment. It was a long hard road. I made him live with my parents to ensure the safety of our child. Stephen was angry, he was nasty, and he was a “dry drunk”. We had another son living in our own home.
After going to counseling, our lives got better. We were happy and we were a beautiful family. Our family was raised without substance abuse. Fast forward to our son, Chuckie. At the age of 14 he became angry and argumentative. He was an addict.
I spoke to my children openly about addiction and about the evils of drugs. Both boys went to private schools. They belonged to sports teams. They always had family watching them if we were at work. They were blessed.
But drugs don’t discriminate. Our son Chuckie became an addict. He was hooked on heroin. To this day my heart skips a beat saying those words. But I look at his beautiful face and heart and I’m ok today saying that.
After he almost most died by driving 100 mph with no seatbelt and rolling his truck 8 times, I gave him the same option as his got dad 21 years earlier: get treatment or live on the street. I am beyond happy to say our son celebrated 2 years of recovery on October 11th, 2014. He is in school to be an underwater welder. He is happy, healthy and at peace with his past.
My husband, Stephen, celebrated 25 years in long term recovery. We celebrated 25 years of marriage on September 2nd, 2014, my lucky charm day! I have become a recovery coach, hoping to pay my blessings forward. Everyone deserves a chance. I am a strong advocate for treatment and follow up support. Wherever a person needs to get support they deserve it!
Side note: our youngest son Parker is in college doing great. He loves his brother with all his heart. They are best friends. Parker runs the BAA 5k for the Herren Project every year to bring awareness to his peers.