Give of Yourself to Others

I’ve lived all my life believing that I was in control of everything. I believed that life was a game between ME and the OTHERS. I had to control others in order to be pleased. I developed a total lack of empathy. And it was after my first 12 step treatment and a lot of years of highs and relapses that one special being entered my life and I experienced empathy, respect, compassion and equanimity. That was the beginning of my turning point. From that beginning, and in spite of having to endure a hard path due to a relapse, I was open to accepting help.

My turning point was an accident while I was drunk and with a blackout. I found myself in a hospital bed, with my ankle busted in 3 places. I was separated from my beloved four-legged daughter and faced an ultimatum from my family. I could choose another final 12 Step treatment or the streets. I chose treatment.

I entered a treatment center where, for 14 weeks, I was able to watch my life and figure out where all went wrong and what were the causes for my relapses.

I’ve learned that I am not God, that I am not a Higher Power and that I live in a Universe where everything is interdependent. I’ve learned that I need others, that I need to give myself to others. This is the key. Happiness is the result of that action, because happiness is inside and not outside of myself.

My life is no longer a war between myself and the world. I have lost my companion Flika, my beloved four-legged daughter, who I am still mourning, but I don’t think about using. Despite the pain I still have I am happy because I am free.

Give of yourself to others. Happiness is an endless resource.

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