- Alcohol
- Drugs
Hi, my name is Mike, and I am a grateful recovering addict. I was in fifth grade when I was put on prescription medication for ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder and insomnia. I was around 14 when I first started smoking weed to fit in. I always felt like I didn’t belong and was smoking daily shortly thereafter. I never really drank much at the time. I went on to cocaine and meth, and then I tried heroin for the first time and fell in love. I went to rehab, got out and thought I was just an addict, not an alcoholic. Justification at its finest.
I started drinking, and I remember a time for about two months when I was getting arrested two to three times a week. I went to rehab two more times just to get out of jail but went back at it when I got out. I ended up going to prison. I stopped on my way home from prison to grab a case of beer and was back at it again while on parole and probation. I was getting drug tested, but alcohol wouldn’t show up. I got two DUIs. I got the first one about a month after I was out and the next one about a year later. I got put on house arrest while on parole but still left the house. My mom called my parole officer and told him she didn’t care what he did with me, but I needed to get out of her house. She stayed up many nights waiting for me to come home and wondering when she was going to get the call that no mother wants to get.
I went back to rehab and then to a halfway house. I stayed clean about six months before I started smoking weed again. It was back to drinking, then heroin, then heroin overdose and then back to rehab in July 2010. Something hit me when I was in there, and that was the last time I drank, but when I got out I started smoking weed and then back to heroin and then OxyContin. I felt OxyContin was safer because I knew what I was getting with the pills. Even though I was still killing myself, I didn’t want to die.
On February 16, 2012, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was in my bedroom crying. I didn’t want to live like that anymore so I hit my knees and asked God to help me please. The next day God brought me to recovery through support group meetings. I had hit spiritual bottom and awakening. I was finally ready to take suggestions and was willing to try something different. I got a sponsor, started working steps and was doing 90 meetings in 90 days. I got put in jail on April 5 for 30 days and stayed clean in there, but it took me a little bit of time to get back to working on recovery after that. I still attended meetings daily, but I was bummed that I didn’t make my 90 meetings in 90 days. My sponsor at the time assured me it was not my fault and told me to start where I left off.
I got a new sponsor in October and started back on my recovery. I realized God had stepped in again, and I had a change of heart about some defects of character I thought I’d never want to change so I believe that was the reason I was stuck on it for so long. Support groups and step work were the things I never really tried before, and I wanted to do them because we all know if nothing changes then nothing changes. The awareness I have today is a blessing. It is the key to change. I am very grateful to the old timers that were there for me and taught me simplicity. I know now that my life may not be easy, but it is simple.
I believe my ADHD, depression and anxiety were all defects of my character. They have all been relieved as has the obsession to use so I believe I chose how I felt. I keep it simple now. This is my story and my experience. I no longer take any medication because I used it as justification to alter my mind. I could never repay what support group meetings have taught me and given me. I can honestly say that I like who I am today and am truly happy! I can see the positive in any situation even if I have to look hard sometimes. I choose which thoughts I entertain and which ones I just let come and go. I have lost the obsession and desire to use any mind or mood-altering substances. For that I will forever be grateful. I am truly blessed to have two years, six months and four days today. Thank you all for being here for me. I can’t do it without you, and if nobody told you they loved you today, know that I do. Recovery works if you work it. Keep it simple, and God Bless!