- Drugs
- Friends & Family
Submitted by: Susanne Johnson
My drug use started at the age of twelve. I was smoking marijuana. By the time I was I was fourteen, I already switched to the use of methamphetamines. I was not only using them, I was selling it as well to finance my own consumption. Marijuana always stayed my drug of choice and favorite, but I also loved the meth. I never made it, I just sold it until I had enough for my own needs.
Arkansas was the place where I grew up. Because of the trouble I got in, I got kicked out of Arkansas as I was fifteen and came to Mayfield, Kentucky, in 1998. I was in court and was going to the juvenile detention center for a long amount of time, but my father reached an agreement with court that I would move to Kentucky to my mother instead. In Kentucky I kept using marijuana. I was not drinking much, maybe every couple months, but I quit doing the Meth for almost ten years.
As I reached age 18 I joined the army and also stopped using marijuana for the entire four years I was there. I picked it up right away after I came home, followed again by meth a couple years later. With the use of meth the trouble started again. I got multiple charges. I was trafficking drugs within the thousand yards limit and jail and court came my way right away. I was lucky to go through drug court and also got six years of probation and did not have to serve time in prison. While I was in drug court I did well, but immediately started to get high again as I graduated. I was right back to where I was and it started again all over.
On a day in September 2014, I took a bunch of Xanax after I was up for a few days. I blacked out as I was driving my car and ran off the road. I was not only charged with a DUI, but also with a possession charge and a trafficking charge and was facing a 20-year sentence at the time. I got probation and was sent to outpatient and IOP programs. This all could not get me clean and I finally went to residential long-term treatment in November 2015.
The current facility and long-term treatment are changing my life. I feel a big difference, not chasing my next high, but being content with where I am today. The relationship to my mother has improved and I see her every weekend when she comes for a visit. Addiction and alcoholism runs through my family for generations. I hope I can bring it to a good end for me now and stay in recovery.
Once I am done with my long-term treatment, I will apply to stay for a while as a peer mentor to help others, just as I was helped when I came in. If possible, I will try to get a job at a nearby other residential facility in the long run. Working with another alcoholic or addict will help me to stay clean and sober. I was in school for accounting for a while before my addiction interfered with all my plans. Maybe I go back to school once my own recovery is stabilized enough. I’m taking my life now step by step.
I was married for about five years and got divorced in 2005. One of my best days in recent recovery was that I could see my kids last Christmas again. My ex-wife is sober and I understand that she didn’t want me to be around the children while I was using. I’m so happy that I get to see them now again and hopefully on a regular basis, so they become part of my life again.
Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps and put all in for your recovery. Life gets so much better in sobriety. Every day is my best day today.