Milly’s Story

Start by describing the situation that changed your life or a loved one’s life.

The situation that changed my life was waking up in an unfamiliar house one morning and finding out that I had cheated — not just once but twice — on my boyfriend. It was hard to swallow the fact that I’d done something totally out of character and harmed a person I deeply loved and cared about. This frightened me and when I arrived at home the look of disgust on my mother’s face caused a little voice in my head to say: “Look what you are doing to yourself and those around you – you’re scum of the earth.” I have never felt so low and full of self-hatred as I did that day.

Based on your situation or story, was there a turning point that prompted the need for change or help?

For me the turning point was when I was on a night out and having sworn to myself (and my boyfriend) that I would not drink in the club, I was handed a pint of beer by a friend I’d not seen in a long time. I was already drunk as a skunk as I’d been greedy guzzling booze all day long. I was clearly in a panic about the fact I wouldn’t be able to continue into the night and once this drink was put in my hands, I was not able to stop staring at it. I began rationalizing —”You didn’t buy this drink, in fact you didn’t even ask for it, so surely it doesn’t count?” With that, I downed the pint and blacked out. The rest is history.

How did you or your HERO get help?

I got help through a 12 step fellowship, which my mum had also been a member of and funnily enough, she returned at the same time as me. Initially it was for moral support, but she also recognized that her drinking had been getting rather out of hand and she ought to give the steps another go. She never told me I should go or even mentioned it. I went totally of my own accord. I was desperate and didn’t know where else to turn. That was 3.5 years ago and I’m pleased to say I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.

Based on your experience, what lessons did you learn? Do you have any advice to give?

I learned several valuable lessons: 1) You have to hit rock bottom before you can pick yourself up and give up all mind-altering substances to rebuild your life. 2) Nobody, not even my nearest and dearest, could have stopped me from drinking; I had to come to the realization myself that I was powerless over alcohol. 3) Equally, I am not able to get anyone else sober, no matter how much I want to/ how hard I try. 4) Putting down the drink is not enough – I have to work on myself constantly in order to prevent a relapse. 5) Surrendering will get you further than fighting. I also realized that no amount of willpower was going to help me stay off the booze.

If you or your loved one is in recovery, describe what life is like today.

Life is still difficult. It is certainly not all rainbows and butterflies but the biggest change I’ve noticed is the way in which I deal with these difficulties. I have matured emotionally and am considerably calmer and more content. I feel I am now able to deal with life’s hurdles rather than turn to alcohol, drugs or anything else in order to “fix” my problems. I have also learned what brings me genuine happiness – being in nature, dancing, helping people and hiking, for example – and am ensuring I do plenty of it all 🙂

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

I believe hiking in particular is extremely therapeutic. In March I’m going to embark on a new project called Recovery Trekking which aims to help alcoholics and addicts that are looking for a unique way to heal their mind, body and soul. Programs will consist of trekking with a guide, either solo or in a group, along the Camino de Santiago, a renowned pilgrimage route in Spain. I hope to see some of you out there!