- Alcohol
- Mental Health
Just over a year ago, I started attending an outpatient center in Atlanta on the suggestion of my therapist. I was against the idea at first, thinking that I could break my addictions on my own. When that did not work and I ended up back in a psychiatric hospital, I knew I needed help. I went for the intake assessment and saw that it was not what I had expected. The overall atmosphere was welcoming and relaxed. The facility was more like a house than a clinic. I signed up for what I thought would be a six week journey. I had no idea how this place would change my life.
I was assigned to a great case manager whose story was similar to mine in many ways. I felt so comfortable with her that I could tell her anything. She had a lot of experience not only in substance addiction, but with my other problem—self harm. It was so awesome to talk to someone who was not scared off or thought I was crazy when I talked about wanting to hurt myself. Shortly after starting the program in Atlanta, I relapsed. Looking back, I know that the relapse was already in progress when I started, and it could not have been prevented. It was just part of my journey.
This is when my case manager suggested I go to an inpatient center in Memphis for a month. Trusting her judgment and just having done step three, I went. This inpatient rehab being a Dual Diagnosis center, the staff there also treated my depression, PTSD and self-harm tendencies. I learned a lot from the month I was there and met some like-minded people who helped through some tough times. Returning back to Atlanta a month later, I went back to my outpatient center and remained a patient there for another nine months. When I finally graduated, I was so overcome with emotion that I could barely talk. I couldn’t even come close to expressing my gratitude to them. I truly believe they saved my life. I was so self destructive when I started there that I could not have survived much longer. Six stays at a psychiatric hospital in less than three years, suicide attempts and numerous other serious self harm episodes, coupled with my drinking and substance abuse would have taken my life easily.
Now I have the tools and knowledge to deal with the emotions I feel without negative consequences. I have been completely sober for 13 months and free from self-harm for six months. I journal, write poetry and draw to ease difficult moments. I reach out to people when I need extra support. I have relaxation and containment techniques when I feel anxious. I continue at my outpatient center in their aftercare management program for accountability and support from others. I also attend a 12-Step program regularly.
I would highly recommend this program to anyone with any addiction problems. I would love to work or volunteer for them in anyway I can. My treatment centers and sobriety have given me back my life. I now actually have a social life instead of isolating. I do so much more now than I used to because I just want to experience new things. I am going to Costa Rica in 10 days on my own. I am going white water rafting, rappelling, canyoneering and zip-lining. I would never have gone on a trip like this before—I would not have had the energy, the inclination or the money!