- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Faith
- Friends & Family
Submitted by: Susanne Johnson
Patrick’s mother was a counselor and he came from a long line of addiction that ran in his family over many generations on both sides. Patrick states that he is in recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction, co-dependency and anything else that comes with it.. He started his addiction with the consumption of alcohol in 6th grade, while drugs followed in the 8th grade. Patrick is now in recovery for 38 years, but it has been a long way for him to reach this point.
When Patrick attended fifth grade in school, his teacher had trouble handling him and asked his parents to come in and suggested that they test him. After testing, the teacher predicted that Patrick would be in a lot of trouble in his teenage years, and soon to be revealed, he was exactly right. Patrick himself felt different at that age and didn’t know where he belonged. After his first drink though he felt okay and felt that he was alright and had arrived where he is supposed to be. What followed were years of constant struggle.
At the age of 17, he was arrested with a large amount of dope on him. After that he was sent to his first treatment. After only a week there, he was kicked out and returned to the life he was happy with. Some time later he was sitting with his sisters and his mother and they talked about his drug consumption as they had all been clean and sober for a while. His mother was crying as Patrick admitted that he has trouble quitting and as he was asked if he want to go to treatment, he just calmly agreed, having no intention to stop, but being ready for some rest, he thought.
He was sent to a treatment center where he found out how sick he really was. He had stopped the alcohol for nine months prior to that, but was doing drugs instead. So now, for the first time, he was getting clean and sober. Since he did not have the intention to stop completely, he had a lot of dope hidden at his parents house to have once he left treatment. His little sister found it and took it to a high school party and just dumped it into the middle of the table. Coming home, he didn’t find his hidden reserves and didn’t know anybody other than people from the fellowship of a 12-step program. Today he is grateful for this move but he was not at this time.
When Patrick was arrested for the first time, his buddy was with him in the car and threw a firecracker out of the window, while Patrick had 10 kilo of dope in the trunk. He was so mad at his friend at first, but today he knows that this incident started his process of recovery, because he started thinking about his life and his drug and alcohol use. “All of the terrible things worked in my favor later,” Patrick says with a smile on his face, “that’s how I got here.”
The most important thing that has changed for Patrick as his sobriety progressed was that he didn’t feel alone anymore. He started to feel a little better with every day. He believes that the fellowship and the meetings kept him sober. “On bad days you just have to trust in God, even you don’t know if there is one.”, he added. “If you give that addiction some time in your head alone by itself, it will sneak up on you. Even after 38 years of sobriety, I’m still an alcoholic, one day at a time. I have to read the books, go to meetings, work the steps and trust God and the fellowship.” All his friends today are in the program. If he does not show up for a few meetings, his phone rings. “That’s how this works,” Patrick says.
In active addiction, he felt ill prepared for any steady relationships. For a time he considered whoever he ended up with at the end of the night as his girlfriend. Other times he had a girlfriend on and off, when ever she could put up with him. In sobriety, he married and had a wonderful wife and two children. His wife passed away from a brain aneurism and this was the darkest day in his sobriety so far. He managed to go through that difficult time without drinking or drugging. His daughter is in treatment right now, while his son has not develop any problem with addiction in 28 years of living.
While his life is steady and he has owned a successful business for many years, he still considers himself an adrenaline junkie. He loves all things exciting: fast cars, fast motorcycles, fishing, ice hockey, and outdoor activities and spends a good amount of time with his hobbies and passions. “I have to be careful with anything. I do everything to an excess. I always have. But now, I pick healthier things than I used to. Whatever I do, I do a little too much,” Patrick states. He is always struggling to find a solid balance in his life, especially if he is not reading his books, going to meetings and doing the things he is supposed to do. He attends several meetings each week and spends lots of time with his friends in recovery. “You can have more friends, more fun, more everything you want, when you are sober. I thought I could only have fun with alcohol and drugs and that was wrong. I could have more of it sober. That was important for me to see in my recovery,” Patrick finishes.