- Drugs
My recovery story begins on April 14, 2010. I had spent all the money I had, pawned all I could pawn out of my home and written bad checks everywhere till I ran out of places to write. Then I found myself in my front yard about to face my husband who already knew I stole his checkbook. After he told me that I was no longer welcome in our home, I was out in my car, screaming at the top of my voice for God to kill me. I cut myself up and attempted to take my life. This was my rock bottom. I truly felt God speak to me and say, “It’s not your time.” Such calmness came over me. I had thrown all my clothes in the backseat, so I got out of the car and put a bag together. I drove myself to the hospital. I walked in and told the nurse that I was a suicidal drug addict and I needed help. I spent two days in the hospital. When I came out, I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to stay clean.
I changed everything about my life that I needed to in order to maintain my sobriety including the areas I drive through, the music I listened to and especially the people I knew who would be a discouragement to me. Every day, I get up and thank God as though it is my first clean day. I went through a six month daily intensive outpatient treatment program. I also went to a Christian 12-step program, which helped me deal with all the hurt, pain and rejection I had been carrying around for years. I made amends with people who I had hurt as well as those who hurt me. I would also even attend recovery meetings from time to time.
I did everything I could to maintain my sobriety. My mindset was that I would put the same effort into staying clean that I put into getting high. I am very involved at my church and I speak to different ministries who reach out to the homeless, many of whom are addicts. I feed the homeless and visit the nursing home. I did anything I could do to add self value to my life. I went from a liability to an asset. I regained the trust and respect of all who I had lied to, stolen from and manipulated. I thank God daily for my deliverance and restoration. You can live without having to use. There is a scripture that says, “Faith without works is dead.” That means that you can have all the faith a person could have that God will help you get and stay clean. But in doing that, you have to step out on that faith, get involved in programs that help you, change the people you associate with and do things to make yourself feel good about who you can become.
It worked for me and it can work for you. I am now three years, two months and 25 days clean. But who’s counting? 🙂
Be blessed! Trust God, step out on faith and never look back!