Willingness to Pause
As a person with an addictive personality I tend to like instant gratification. I want things to happen very quickly. Sometimes too fast and I don’t stop to think about what kinds of consequences await me after I make quick decisions. What is happening in that moment tends to be more important then pausing and thinking about what could potentially happen. I forget to play the tape through as a result I find myself in the same space over and over again. At times that space can get even worse compared to the last time. Then I find myself unhappy and angry I did not take the time to stop and think about it.
Having the willingness to look at what is going on before making decisions helps eliminate making snap judgments. Most things that happen instantly usually don’t turn out well for me. The great things that happen to me occur over time.
By taking a step back I have allowed other people to step in and play a part. Asking those that wanted to see me better my life was a huge help and gave me guidance. These friends and relatives are the ones I ignored in active addiction. It is tough to be told that you are doing something wrong or the way you are doing it is not working. Pride and ego are very powerful. This disease in particular constantly wants me to feel like it is the only way. It is not the only way, I am an example of the fact there can be different results.
Usually when I pause a great deal of fear overcomes me. I start thinking about all the things that have gone wrong in the past. It deters me from wanting to do anything period. This is a cycle, the way I break this cycle is by understanding yes, I have a horrible track record but that was then and this is now! So when I do pause guiding my mind towards the possibilities seems more feasible. Remembering I have a set of tools I have picked up through recovery leads me in a positive direction. If I utilize them I reach a different outcome. Instead of alcohol and drugs I start using my capabilities to gain some awareness. When I believed it is possible, my results changed.
Can anyone relate to what I am talking about here? I am a Lead Advocate for Heroes In Recovery. We help break the stigma of addiction in multi-faceted ways. We inspire people to share their recovery journeys with us through our website or you can also reach out to me and I can help you with this process. We host 6K races all over the country raising money for the cause. I also write a blog for Heroes along with my four other fellow Lead Advocates. Please stop by and check out our site!!!
Godspeed,
Hillary