- Drugs
- Friends & Family
- Mental Health
How long have you been on your recovery journey?
June 2015 marks four years.
What was life like before you found recovery?
It was terrible. It was awful. The last two years before I got sober I had tried a rehab and recovery home which I had been kicked out of twice for relapsing. I didn’t believe I was an alcoholic at that time. I thought I was too young. I finally gave up and surrendered. I went to my second rehab. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
How old were you when you started using?
I started drinking when I was fourteen years old.
What was your relationship like with your family or what made you think that something might be wrong?
My mom has a bad mental illness– very bad depression. My brother was born when I was almost ten years old and then she got post-partum and it was very bad. So, for a couple years I became mom. When I was around 13, she was better and tried to discipline me and I just rebelled. I stated to push them out of my life. I was a lot closer with my dad I guess because I didn’t really have any resentment toward him.
I did whatever I wanted and I was grounded all the time for things like back talking but I was sneaking out like every night so it didn’t really mean a whole lot to me. It just progressed. I think I was probably a blackout drinker from the beginning. I went straight to San Diego State after high school. I found the party there very easily.
What lead you to your need for recovery?
I couldn’t stop. I had tried a few times. I remember thinking once, “if I don’t quit, I’m going to have to go to rehab.” It was probably about a week later that I was like, “I can’t quit.” I had been fired from a few jobs at this point. I moved back to my parents’ house.
What is one important truth you have learned through the process?
Being honest no matter what the consequences are going to be. Secrets will keep me sick and it helps me to be just a more genuine person and to enjoy life.
What is one of your biggest struggles in your ongoing recovery and how do you overcome it?
Sometimes willingness to do the work that’s necessary to keep what I’ve gotten and continue getting better. I know this never goes away and I see my disease come out in all different areas. So it’s like, “now I have a problem in this area, really?!” So again, just being honest with my sponsor and taking her direction.
What words of encouragement would you give to someone who is struggling and hasn’t reached out for help or maybe doesn’t even know they need help?
Ask questions. If you don’t think it’s a problem yet, maybe it’s not– but it’s always good to have information. You don’t have to do it alone. None of us do this alone. We can’t.
What is your life like now that you’re in recovery?
It’s amazing. I’m almost finished with school after being kicked out of three schools before I got sober. I graduate in May. I have a job, a great boyfriend and we have a dog. I honestly couldn’t be happier.