- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Faith
Submitted by Vanessa, Heroes in Recovery lead advocate
Grace is 23 years old. She was born into a family life that was scattered, broken at times, and riddled with turmoil as her family clung to what they knew to be sacred in order to survive in America. Grace is Gutamalan, born in the U.S. Her mother did what she could in order to provide and keep the family above water. Her mother worked as a nanny for the same family for 15 years, and when she could not maintain employment and raise her daughters (Grace has a sister), she sent them to live with their aunt so she could work full time, sending money home to provide for her girls. When Grace’s mother was situated enough, she sent for her children to come to California, where she was residing. This is where Grace’s inner struggles began.
She did not want to leave to live with her mother, yet she did what was asked of her and began to acclimate herself to the Hawthorne, CA, lifestyle. She was in constant conflict with her mother and sister, beginning to run away from home by the age of 12. Grace found what she believed at the time to be another family, one that understood her struggles. She began hanging out with a 25 year old girl, and her fast life got just that much faster. She started using marijuana and drinking with her new family, finding herself in sticky situations that involved the law. Grace started stealing, even taking jewelry that belonged to her sister with the 25 year-old girl. Inevitably being caught, Grace spent six months in a juvenile detention center.
Within the structured environment of the institution, Grace thrived. She felt comfortable with the limitations and found herself seeking these experiences. Once released from juvi, Grace violated probation and she was put into placement for two years in San Dimas. Happy and content, she refused to see her mother and sister while in placement. The institution called for rigorous therapy sessions, and Grace benefited from this. Once her time was up, she returned home to her mother and sister. She fell back in with the same family crowd, and her trials were just getting started.
Grace and her mother made their first real connection as mother and daughter when Grace became pregnant at 17. She was a senior in high school and was scared to talk to her mom about the circumstance she found herself in. When she finally got the courage, her mother was understanding and was there for her, to her surprise. Due to her pregnancy, she missed her high school graduation. Grace’s sister had moved out to Nashville, TN. By this time, Grace decided to get away from the chaos of California and join her there. She got married while in Nashville. She explains that it was not out of love but necessity, and she quickly fell into a depression. After being in Tennessee for a year, she figured she had had enough and decided to move back to California, running with the same family as before.
The ante was kicked up now—Grace had a son. She began to neglect him, as her partying with her family and friends picked up momentum. She was working as a promoter for a skating company, and the type of partying they did consisted of a lot of alcohol, drugs, and late nights. She was right back where she had started, but worse off. She began stealing again. After a spree at Target, she was arrested. Her son being with her, he was taken by CPS. Instead of being shaken by her actions, Grace started popping pills. She called her mother, who was now in Nashville with her sister, for help in getting her son back. The conditions her son was in upset Grace enormously. When she went to visit him, sores and infections riddled his body from the poor care he was receiving while in foster care. He was wearing clothing that did not fit him and it devastated her. She pleaded with her mother to gain custody of her boy, and her mother willingly did so.
As she moved forward, Grace did what was required of her to close her case in six months, yet her using did not lessen. With her son in Nashville, she had free reign to do all the partying she wanted. The effects began to take a toll on her, and she started to become weary. She started looking for a rehab to help her rid herself of the terrifying obsession, but without insurance or cash, she was being turned away.
At one particular low point, Grace found herself in a local park. A man approached her with a flyer. It was 10pm at night and she couldn’t believe what was handed to her. It was notice for a treatment center that took girls like her in situations like hers, for free. She called, and when she was finally ready, she began her path to recovery. The treatment center she went to was Chrsitian-based and centered around healing with God’s love. She detailed her experience of being “slayed by the Holy Spirit” with such emotion. Her life was taking shape and a new outlook filled with hope began to emerge. During her stay, she attempted to talk to her son over the phone, but it would upset him, so she opted to send him pictures and letters instead. After nine months, she felt strong enough to leave treatment and move to Nashville to be with her real family.
Grace has been clean and sober for a little over a year now. The relationships she has with her mother and son are stronger than ever. I met Grace as she worked customer service for the hotel I was staying at in Nashville, and she loves her job. She sees herself working in the field of recovery as a counselor. She feels that she wants to reach young girls before they hit the place she did, believing that she can relate to and understand those who suffer like she did. She wants to reach out and touch lives, and she knows it begins with education and informing herself. The light I see in Grace’s eyes is such a promising spark for a 23 year-old who has gone through so much in her young life. It’s the light of hope.