- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Other Addictions
Addiction is no joke.
If you’ve held your breath and felt that overwhelming desire for air, you know how it feels.
The impulse. The urgency. The desperation. I need air.. I need to breathe…
I must have it.
When you’re consumed by addiction, it feels exactly the same. The craving for your vice is no less weak than that desire for air. It jerks you around like a wild horse, compelling you to act as if you were under a spell. It’s so powerful that you’d do anything to make the craving go away. Yet as overwhelming as addiction can feel, it’s not a disease or misfortune — it’s a choice.
I once was an addict. For five years of my life I was a slave to pleasure. It started as a curiosity, then turned into an obsession. Drugs, alcohol, and sex became my life. I smoked marijuana throughout the day, getting high as often as I could. I had sex whenever possible, viewing girls as mere objects to satisfy my lust. I drank myself into oblivion, often blacking out as I drove home from parties. I had become a savage, pleasure-seeking beast, and I felt helpless.
I didn’t plan on becoming an addict. No one does. It simply just happened. One choice led to another, which led to another, and then another.
Taking a puff of a cigarette somehow transitioned into smoking a pack a day. Peeking at a topless photo somehow became a daily porn routine. By the time I realized, the occasional indulgence had taken over my life. I thought there was no turning back.
In August of 2010, I fell to my rock bottom. My lifestyle of pleasure was not all what it seemed — the things I loved had ultimately destroyed me. I found myself writhing in agony on a kitchen floor, deciding if I should kill myself. I was broken, defeated, and lost. Life seemed hopeless and I felt like I had no way out. I felt I no longer had a choice.
I did have a choice.
As immense pain tore at my soul on that floor, two diverging choices were offered to me.
“Life is unfair, I’m a failure… this is who I am. I can’t change.”
or
“This is not me. I’m better than this. I CAN CHANGE.”
I chose to change.
I choose to not to smoke. I choose not to consume drugs. I even choose not to watch porn. I was told that I would be an addict forever. I refuse to believe that. My choices define me, not my addictions.
If I can change, you can change. You can break free from these shackles. You can rise up from that pit. Resist those temptations. Surpass the pain.
You control yourself.