_____ Killed the Cat
Curiosity killed the cat. I’m sure everyone has heard this proverb before. It might be a little unclear as to how the saying originated, but the meaning of the saying is pretty straightforward. Unneeded research or investigation is what killed our furry, feline friend. Research or investigation into what, you ask? It could be anything.
I decided to examine this proverb by assigning some real life issues to the situation. Let’s turn our feline into a human and call him Frank. Frank becomes curious about alcohol and decides to try beer one night. He likes it so much that he tries it again and again. He starts to drink liquor with his beer. He likes that too! After that, he tries marijuana to go with his liquor and beer. This goes on for ten years, with Frank progressing on to more serious and dangerous drugs and behaviors, until one day he overdoses on heroin and dies. It seems Frank’s overdose was a result of a series of bad decisions that was initially set off by his curiosity. The proverb is spot on in this scenario.
Let’s try another scenario. We’ll play the same scenario out but, instead of letting Frank progress through all ten years to his overdose, we’ll stop it at some point in year nine. Frank is down on his luck and really struggling at this point. He’s not where he wants to be in his life. He knows the drugs and alcohol are huge crutches for him. He wishes for a better way of life but doesn’t know how to get there. This is the only life he knows, and he doesn’t know where to turn. Frank has a friend named Steve who has been sober for over a year but Frank doesn’t know that. Frank and Steve used to party together but now are not close because Steve is in recovery and doesn’t hang around the same places anymore. They have a chance encounter, and Steve asks Frank how he is doing. Frank says he is not well. Before Frank elaborates, Steve already knows the truth because it is written in Frank’s eyes. Steve recognizes those eyes because he’s had them himself. Steve listens and tells Frank he hopes he gets better. Then, they go their separate ways. Steve wishes he could have helped more but he didn’t want to break his own anonymity to Frank, even though Frank noticed an obvious change. Frank even asked what was different, and Steve said he just made some changes and left it at that. Frank wishes he could make a change but doesn’t know how to. He continues down his destructive path, overdoses and dies. My question now is, “What proverb best fits this scenario?” Is it, “Curiosity killed the cat?” This is the curiosity that compelled Frank to try the substances in the first place. Or is it, “Anonymity killed the cat?” This is the anonymity Steve chose when he kept his story secret. His story could have helped save Frank from his own downfall, but he didn’t tell it because he didn’t want Frank to know the details.
I don’t write this blog to bash programs of anonymity or anonymity as a whole. I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and love it! I understand it is important for some people to maintain their anonymity for very personal reasons, and that is great. I write this because there are times when someone has the opportunity to help another by sharing his experience, strength and hope but he doesn’t do it because of the fear of having his recovery discovered. What would you choose? Would you choose to let curiosity, coupled with your anonymity kill the cat? Or would you choose to let your openness and willingness save the cat?