Friday, January 13th, 2012 was a special day. It was the birthday of a woman I have been truly blessed to have in my life—my mother. We celebrated her birthday by going out to dinner at a new restaurant, going bowling, and playing arcade games with my daughter. Everyone enjoyed themselves and the night was a success. I drove home after the festivities had ended and pulled into my driveway. I got out of my car and opened the garage to go inside to catch some sleep. As I opened the door, an unwelcome surprise hit me smack in the nose!
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Alcoholism and drug abuse is a world-wide epidemic that doesn’t just vanish when a person makes a decision to change his way of life. Although a person may have chosen a new way of life for himself, there are still millions of people struggling with the same issues the person in recovery is seeking refuge from. Anyone currently in recovery for an addiction can tell you that they didn’t change until they wanted to change.
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As any person in recovery will tell you, life during recovery isn’t perfect. I recently asked a friend of mine what life is like for him now that he is in recovery. He said, “Life is still life. There are still a lot of downs.”
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Dean Dauphinais is the father of two sons. One is a recovering dual-diagnosis addict who also suffers from severe depression and anxiety disorder. Dean has made great strides in his own recovery and dreams of a day when the stigma associated with addiction no longer exists. We asked Dean to contribute to Heroes in Recovery as a guest blogger. Below is his story of inspiration.
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Being the parent of an addict is not something one aspires to be. But that’s what I am; and what I have been for the last several years. My 22-year-old son was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety disorder when he was 15, and after an unsuccessful suicide attempt, he began self-medicating to try to feel “normal.” First it was pot. Then it was prescription meds. Then it was heroin. And cocaine. To be totally honest, I’m not sure what all he’s tried over the years. But heroin was his drug of choice for quite a while, and that’s when I realized that drug addiction was not reserved for inner city kids who lived on the streets. My son grew up in a middle-class family in an affluent suburb. And yet one day I woke up and found myself trying to figure out how to help my drug-addicted child.
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One of the first steps a person in recovery takes when working to change his life is to give up control of his life to the care of God. This is the third of twelve steps that are outlined in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It says we, “Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 59) This seems to be simple enough, but is oftentimes extremely difficult for a person to actually implement on a continuous basis into his life. Letting go of control can be extremely difficult for anyone, especially someone with the personality of an addict, even if the control we are surrendering is to God. These struggles are continuous. It’s very unlikely that someone can relinquish control one day, and then never have to battle with control again. New situations are constantly arising that force us to relinquish control, even when that’s the last thing we want to do.
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As I sit here beginning to write, I am in a mood of reflection. Yesterday (June 22nd) marked three years since my last drink of alcohol. I am totally grateful for the life God has built for me over the past three years. I have been thinking of the journey God has placed me on since I began this walk in recovery. The things I have learned and the blessings I have received have left me in disbelief. I feel the best thing I can do at a time like this is recount some of the lessons I have learned and highlights I have experienced in the last three years.
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