For me, turning 21 was different and so much better than what I could have ever imagined. I was able to go to South Beach with my best friend. We stayed at a beautiful hotel and had perfect weather. I spent the day on the beach with the sun on my face. That night we went out to one of the nicest clubs in Miami. All of this we did sober.
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When we play a game it is to win. The object has always been to win. I changed my life so drastically it felt like losing. The disease of addiction tried to tell me this. My phone stopped ringing. I did not know what to do with my time anymore. Before, I spent my time and money on my addiction. I had no clue how to do anything else.
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One of the most important lessons I ever learned in my support group was this: “Do not do for the addict what he can and should be doing for himself.” Let them learn! Let them take responsibility for their own actions and lives. Do not disempower them by taking on the consequences of their actions!
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From the very beginning, I was blown away by what Jeanne, Don, and their children, Courtney and Matt, were doing. To take such an unthinkable tragedy and turn it into something positive that helps other people is so selfless. I also felt strongly connected to these people because my own son—who, as I write this, is 20 months clean and sober—is around the same age that Tyler was when he passed.
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Please untangle and unknot your thoughts so they don’t become your problems. With a little bit of mindfulness, it is not so hard. Just try to live in the present and observe your thoughts. Don’t create those Gordian Knots which slow down our thinking and our life. Too many of those thought knots drive me to a liquor store, so I keep my brain neat and clean and the pathways open and disentangled. Meditation might help you stay present and stop these knots from building up.
Continue Reading Today I live in recovery. I see a peaceful set of roads, well-marked with signs, steady traffic in a friendly environment. Of course there is a little fender bender once in a while and that is okay. I can deal with life today, make a detour in my brain and let the traffic flow by. Negative thoughts don’t have to dominate my day or my night anymore. The hamster in his wheel has stopped running. I am grateful for this peace!
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