I checked into a residential treatment facility November 3, 2009. I was 56 years old. Drug and alcohol abuse had been my way of life for 17+ years. Depression thrived in this disconnected environment.
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One of the most liberating things I have heard since I have been in recovery came from my mentor and friend Adventure Bob Granger: “Everyone’s recovery is their own.” Since I started this journey almost two and a half years ago, the lingering drive for me has been a furthering and deepening of my understanding of spirituality and where it all fits into what it is we go through addicts, alcoholics, and those suffering from mental illness. It was pressed upon me early on that it was imperative I seek and gain an understanding of a Higher Power, and that without it I may not succeed.
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Dean Dauphinais is the father of two sons. One is a recovering dual-diagnosis addict who also suffers from severe depression and anxiety disorder. Dean has made great strides in his own recovery and dreams of a day when the stigma associated with addiction no longer exists. We asked Dean to contribute to Heroes in Recovery as a guest blogger. Below is his story of inspiration.
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Being the parent of an addict is not something one aspires to be. But that’s what I am; and what I have been for the last several years. My 22-year-old son was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety disorder when he was 15, and after an unsuccessful suicide attempt, he began self-medicating to try to feel “normal.” First it was pot. Then it was prescription meds. Then it was heroin. And cocaine. To be totally honest, I’m not sure what all he’s tried over the years. But heroin was his drug of choice for quite a while, and that’s when I realized that drug addiction was not reserved for inner city kids who lived on the streets. My son grew up in a middle-class family in an affluent suburb. And yet one day I woke up and found myself trying to figure out how to help my drug-addicted child.
One of the first steps a person in recovery takes when working to change his life is to give up control of his life to the care of God. This is the third of twelve steps that are outlined in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It says we, “Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 59) This seems to be simple enough, but is oftentimes extremely difficult for a person to actually implement on a continuous basis into his life. Letting go of control can be extremely difficult for anyone, especially someone with the personality of an addict, even if the control we are surrendering is to God. These struggles are continuous. It’s very unlikely that someone can relinquish control one day, and then never have to battle with control again. New situations are constantly arising that force us to relinquish control, even when that’s the last thing we want to do.
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Many people in active addiction, when wanting to go to a treatment program for the first time, are …
Continue Reading As I sit here beginning to write, I am in a mood of reflection. Yesterday (June 22nd) marked three years since my last drink of alcohol. I am totally grateful for the life God has built for me over the past three years. I have been thinking of the journey God has placed me on since I began this walk in recovery. The things I have learned and the blessings I have received have left me in disbelief. I feel the best thing I can do at a time like this is recount some of the lessons I have learned and highlights I have experienced in the last three years.
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