When I first started out in recovery, I heard things from people who had some clean time. These things had to do with getting out of myself and starting to care about others in a way that I had not been connected to previously, a way to uncover a better sense of well-being. Rather than half-hearted attempts of helping out a friend to see what I could get out of the situation, whole-hearted attempts in helping someone out (anyone!) for simply his or her benefit were encouraged. Now now now, wait a minute…Do something… for someone… because I want to…? Not necessarily foreign territory for most people. But for the recovering addict/alcoholic, selfishness and self-centeredness has been the root of one’s troubles. Getting out of self is a daily challenge!
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For someone who has been affected by addiction, finding passion can often be hard at first. My definition of passion is loving what I do and doing what I love; it’s about having that feeling in my gut that says I am doing what’s good for me. My passions are living life, loving America, and helping others find recovery. I found them by asking myself the question, “What do I love doing?” And it wasn’t until I found recovery that I seriously asked myself this question.
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Resentment is an everyday reality for most everyone in the world. It is a constant reminder that the world is not perfect and we are not perfect either. Wikipedia defines a resentment as, “the experience of a negative emotion felt as a result of a real or imagined wrong done.” At one point in every person’s life, he is sure to develop resentment against a person, organization, team, school subject, or something else. This is true of your pastor, your boss, people in recovery, and even your grandmother!
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Kubler-Ross and Kessler define grief as our response to loss. It is the healing process that will bring comfort to our pain from that loss. Those of us who have lived with the disease of addiction ourselves or in our families know that whichever side of the fence you sit on, you have experienced loss. The loss of dreams, health, family and friends, personal possessions and finances to name a few. Grief can be what turns someone down the path to addiction, but it can also be the saving grace that brings a person into recovery.
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Every day I get asked, “Is there anything we can do for our loved one besides sending them to rehab?” Sometimes they almost whisper the word. The negative inflection in their tone suggests that they believe that rehab is a highly undesirable option that it is in the same league with jail, prison, or the psych wards depicted in movies— that “rehab” is a bad word. Why does the word “rehab” have this negative connotation?
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There are many roads to recovery, and on whatever roads we have chosen there are bound to be emotions, fears, and confusion. Many people come into recovery with a home they are not sure they feel comfortable going back to. This can lead to a major roadblock, but if there is one thing alcoholics and addicts are good at, it’s persevering and sticking together.
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