Be the Light That Helps Others See
Why all the judgment? I can’t tell you how many times people have crushed my heart by insinuating or flat-out saying that my son got what he deserved (death by overdose). The most commonly stated admonishment is, “Well, he never should have tried it in the first place, so it’s his own fault.” Why someone would say that to a grieving mother is beyond me, so I have spent time trying to figure out why some people think their self-righteous contempt is okay. And you know, I have really come to believe it comes mainly from two sources—ignorance and fear.
The fear is that if they believe this could happen to anyone (it can), then this could happen to them, and that is something they cannot accept or even think about. And most people have no idea what the real face of addiction looks like or what addicts really need. I certainly didn’t—until I became the mother of a casualty. How I wish I had known then what I know now. But I was convinced that addiction was something that happens to “other” people. Truth is, addicts are our friends, neighbors, and kids, and they need major support and treatment, not scorn.
Addicts do not deserve to die. Many actually become addicted because of medication prescribed by a physician. Some become addicted because they did make that fatal error in judgment and “tried it in the first place.” But I ask, who among us has never made an error in judgment? I like to ask people if they have ever made the choice to speed when they were late for something, or if they have ever had a “social” drink and driven their car. They could kill others with their actions. Do all these people deserve to die? Most would say no. But those same people are perfectly comfortable saying that addicts deserve to die.
No wonder people keep their addictions secret. We have got to get addiction out of the proverbial closet. Now, instead of becoming offended or hurt, I strive to use negative remarks as an opportunity for education and setting the record straight. This is a huge contribution those in recovery and those who have lost loved ones can make to the world. I refuse to feel ashamed, because there is no reason to be. My life’s mission is to bring addiction into the light, removing the undeserved stigma and encouraging others to seek help. If you have a story of recovery to share, please do! Together we can make a difference. Be the light that helps others to see.