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Motives

Heroes In Recovery
| October 31, 2013

I sat outside the office of my human resources department, waiting, for that looming moment when I would be called into the office and told I was being terminated from my job. A co-worker walked through the office and said I looked like I was waiting outside of the principal’s office for punishment. That was a great observation because that’s exactly how I felt! I was that student that was consumed with shame and fear, who was about to hear the consequences of his actions. I regretted them and knew I had crossed the line. I knew I was about to be punished accordingly. I wished I could replay the last 24 hours and act more responsibly. If I could, I wouldn’t stroll into work still drunk and I wouldn’t be in the awful situation I had created for myself. I was regretful, not because what I had done was wrong, but because I was about to be in trouble for my actions. I prayed that God would help me out of this situation, I would never put myself in it again!

This is the same prayer millions of people battling an addiction say every day. Most of the time this prayer will be prayed once the negative consequences have passed, the old behaviors will resurface. The prayer is often sincere for a time, but it wears off.

Sometimes it doesn’t wear off though. Sometimes a person will earnestly make efforts to change behaviors, even if it’s to appease another person or a job, and after a period of time he realizes he doesn’t want to go back to being the person that got into that situation in the first place. He realizes his past behaviors were not right, or he doesn’t want to allow those actions to dominate his life anymore.

Sometimes recovery works that way. If given a chance to get its foot in the door, a life in recovery sometimes becomes more desirable than turning back to those old behaviors. Sometimes a person will get into recovery to avoid a negative consequence, if the person sticks with it long enough, the fruits of recovery become so great that turning back is not an option. The person changes from quitting for a time to avoid consequences to quitting for a life that is free of addiction, free of lies, and better for himself and everyone he encounters.

Eventually, I entered the human resources office. I was sent home and told to wait to hear back on what the final verdict. In the days that followed, the prayers continued. When judgment was handed down, my job was not terminated. I avoided my “death sentence,” but my new mindset did not change. I began a life in recovery that has evolved from trying to avoid negative consequences to living a better, more fruitful life in all areas. I thank God every day, not that I avoided termination, as I have since moved to a better career in a different industry, but that He removed my desires for the right reasons and has guided me down this new path of life, which I now walk daily.

For anyone that has enjoyed success in recovery, please share what caused you to take that first step. How have your motives for being in recovery changed, and what do you enjoy now that you couldn’t have when you were in the midst of your addiction?

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